Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.

Why is sex like math?

You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.

What does one boob say to the other boob?

If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.

What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?

Thanks for coming!

Roses are red and violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the third one's for you.

If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke.

What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

The picture gets hung with one nail, not two.