Worst Jokes Ever
"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.
“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.
They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us.
It’s been a few weeks, and it's clear that you do not have that sense.
Battery 1%.
I take one last look at Earth as my suit runs out of power.
I try and try every day, but 5 keep coming out. There's so money at this point my walls are built of babies.
I'm shidding. Still babies are still coming and going.
I shidded out my baby, then became a fish.
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me.
F*** man, I just need a f***ing loli to walk all over me!
How many beans are there in Irish chili?
Answer: 239
Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine?
Answer: (spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more, it'd be "two farty."
The orphan also had to cry because the cartels called him "homie."
I asked the orphan if he wanted to watch all the Tom Holland Spider-Man movies with me, and he started crying.
You know what I like most about people with Parkinson's... Their handshake!
Why were the terrorists upset on 9/11? bcz 1 of the 4 missed its target.
The orphan turned 18, but he was happy because he didn't have to pay rent to his parents.
The orphan's best friend wanted to meet his family, so he took a selfie.
Why is the orphan happy when he wakes up from a coma?
Because there is a family reunion.
What TV series do orphans hate?
"House, M.D."
Why did the school shooter earn extra points?
Because he was on a kill streak.
"Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.... All the king's horses and all the king's men, COULDN'T PUT HUMPTY TOGETHER AGAIN."
"Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all
Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock
when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all"
Anyone else finding the hidden horror in these?
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Because they don't have Mother's and Father's day.