Worst Jokes Ever
Why don't bald eagles brush their teeth? Because they don't have teeth! xD
So there’s this air purifier in my room, right? It’s really noisy, so I unplugged it to sleep better, and sure enough, I fell asleep faster. So I came to the conclusion: if I unplug noisy machines, people will sleep better.
It worked really well in my local hospital.
My favorite kind of face mask is the plastic bag.
You're so ugly when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.
What part of a vegetable can't you eat? The wheelchair.
"Wubba Lubba Dub Dub" is one way to describe how my inner child acts, but yesterday I killed them. Now I hear "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," I’m drowning in the tub.
Roses are red, violets are blue, You'll suck my dick 'cause I'm stronger than you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll f*ck your mom, and you'll be next.
Where did Sarah go after the bombing?
Everywhere. 💀
I hope all of you had a great merry Christmas, a happy Hanukkah, a good whatever you celebrate! I got so much this year, over $300 of fishing gear, a small 2011 coin mint collection, some coins from the Nazi party, a remote control car, 100 dollars, and more. Say what you guys got in the comments.
A 10 year old girl lays in her bed and excitedly waits for Santa to come. When Santa eventually comes she giggles, shivers, and orgasms.
Finally, as a special thank you, she sucks off Santa’s wet cock.
A Scouser at ground zero just after the twin towers fell asks a passer-by, "What time is it, mate?"
An American replies, "That's a mad accent, where are you from?"
The Scouser says, "Liverpool."
The American says, "Oh, what state is that in?"
The Scouser looks around and says, "About the same state as this, mate, but what time is it?"
Why did the snowman say, "Good day," to the sun?
Because it was afraid to melt away by the sun.
Guy: Michael Jackson wasn’t in ancient times!
Me: hee hee egypt.
Meaning behind the German flag: 🇩🇪 Black: culture Red: Beer Yellow: Sausage Blue: Winning world wars.
When does the slowest person go as fast as a train?
When he is on the train.
Jeff crosses the US border.
The second he crosses into the USA, a guy comes up with a gun.
Jeff: "That's what I was expecting."
What is the worst tool to play when playing the game “Icebreaker”?
The Titanic.
Yo Mamma's so fat that she falls from both sides of the bed.
What does Michael Jackson have in common with Kmart?
They're both dead...