Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call someone who gets killed at 12 o'clock on New Year's? First kill of the match.
A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.
What cheese do monsters eat? Monsterella.
What do you call a deer that has no eye? No-eye deer!
Me: Ice woman diary: a witch's tin key.
Other: What? You said, "I swim in diarrhea, which is stinky?"
Who loves walnut? Wallace!
Why doesn't Newton cut trees in vanilla Minecraft? Because he wants Minecraft to be realistic!
What instrument do skeletons use? A trombone! Haha!
For some reason, my mom likes to lick and suck on hotdogs. As a son, can anyone tell me why?
For some reason, when my mom eats hot dogs, she likes to lick and suck on it first. As a son, can anyone tell me why?
READ THIS OUT LOUD:
This is this cat.
This is cat.
This is how cat.
This is to cat.
This is keep cat.
This is an cat.
This is idiot cat.
This is a busy cat.
This is for cat.
This is forty cat.
this is seconds cat.
NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.
Two friends are in a hospital lobby. Friend 2 notices Friend 1 crying.
Friend 1: "*crying hysterically*"
Friend 2: "Why are you crying?"
Friend 1: "I came here for a blood test."
Friend 2: "So? Are you afraid?"
Friend 1: "No. For the blood test, they cut my finger."
Friend 2: "*crying hysterically*"
Friend 1: "Why are you crying?"
Friend 2: "I came here for a urine test."
Why did Hitler's cookies taste bad? He forgot to clean out the oven.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
Little old lady, you don't need to yodel about it. Yodel who? Yodel who?
What’s the worst part of being a pedophile?
Getting the blood out of your clown suit.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had diarrhea.
Knock knock, who's there? God.
God who? NO, you idiot, there is no God. I am your father and you have locked me out of my own house!
Really gotta love all the morons who, instead of sharing irreverent dark jokes, say the stupidest shit pertaining to Christianism.
What’s the difference between a bank vault and you aunt's anus?
The owner of bank vaults don’t force you to penetrate it.
What did the Twin Towers say to the plane?