Worst Jokes Ever
Why are handicap signs blue?
Because they're all Crips.
What did the eagle say to Obama?
He said: "Joe Mama!"
I got an iPhone 14 for my brother? That was the best trade I ever made.
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?
Because the dad never came with the milk.
A kid came to the orphanage with a dead fish. She was crying.
Why was the kid crying in the orphanage? Because someone came for the fish.
A woman was in the Twin Towers. She orders a pepperoni pizza but got a plane pizza.
I saw a bus the other day with some boy scouts at the back. One of them was having fun getting his knot-tying badge.
My friend dumped me, so I stole their wheelchair.
Have a guess who came crawling back?
What do you call a polar bear with mood swings?
A bipolar bear.
Lol
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call dad. 🤣
Technically speaking, "ur mom/ur father" jokes have no effect on orphans.
I broke my arm in two places. You know what the doctor told me? Stay out of those places!
I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.
They told me a mask was enough to get into the supermarket.
They lied, everybody else was also wearing pants.
A guy told me, "Nothing rhymes with orange."
So I replied, "No, it doesn't."
I was crying because my dad was cutting onions...
Onions was a good dog.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple has a family tree.
When I'm peeing in a toilet I don't pee directly into the water. I pee on the curved part of the bowl beside the water because I figure it splashes less, but when you're peeing that close to the edge, the sporadic tiny offshoots of pee become a greater threat.
I'm not sure if the accumulation of these offshoots is greater than the potential splashback from peeing mid-bowl. It's possible that I'm thinking about this too much, but it's also possible that I'm not thinking about this enough.
Guys, stop joking about 9/11. It's just plane wrong.
These two guys were texting each other.
Guy 1: How are you?
Guy 2: I’m great. The weather is lovely here. Guy 2: *sends picture of a flying spring*
Guy 1: ???
Guy 2: Springs in the air. :)