Worst Jokes Ever

Shrek once went to the movies and when he sat down he felt this slimy and sticky feeling on the chair, so he stood up and complained about his chair being dirty... until he realized that he forgot to wipe earlier... so he stopped complaining and went back to his chair and sat back down.

What’s the difference between an orphan and a tomato?

The tomato gets picked.

I gave a deaf kid AirPods.

I told a blind kid, "See you later!"

I asked a emo kid if they wanna hang out.

A missile hit a hospital earlier this morning. Fortunately, no one was injured - but 100 were killed.

Allah akbar.

Why was the Tower of Pisa always leaning?

Cuz it wanted better accuracy than the Twin Towers.

"Deez nutz" are a hairline.

Me: I wouldn’t want to be with a shitmate.

Shitmate: You’re so shitable.

Me: Bring banana ice cream.

Shitmate: Never happening.

"Fuck you, do something about it!"

Why do orphans like baseball so they can know what a real home is?

What do you call emo kids that are depressed... suicide squad?

You're so fat, when you went on the scale it said "to be continued."

You're so fat, when you went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."

Titanic is like our president; it cracks in half and dies.

I drip when you take me in the mouth, what am I? Ice cream.

Ur mama so fat she needs two watches because she's in different time zones.

What is six inches, goes in your mouth, and it's fun when it vibrates? A toothbrush.

What do cannibals call newborn babies?

Fresh fruit.