Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call dad. 🤣
Worst Jokes Ever
Technically speaking, "ur mom/ur father" jokes have no effect on orphans.
I broke my arm in two places. You know what the doctor told me? Stay out of those places!
I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.
They told me a mask was enough to get into the supermarket.
They lied, everybody else was also wearing pants.
A guy told me, "Nothing rhymes with orange."
So I replied, "No, it doesn't."
I was crying because my dad was cutting onions...
Onions was a good dog.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple has a family tree.
When I'm peeing in a toilet I don't pee directly into the water. I pee on the curved part of the bowl beside the water because I figure it splashes less, but when you're peeing that close to the edge, the sporadic tiny offshoots of pee become a greater threat.
I'm not sure if the accumulation of these offshoots is greater than the potential splashback from peeing mid-bowl. It's possible that I'm thinking about this too much, but it's also possible that I'm not thinking about this enough.
Guys, stop joking about 9/11. It's just plane wrong.
These two guys were texting each other.
Guy 1: How are you?
Guy 2: I’m great. The weather is lovely here. Guy 2: *sends picture of a flying spring*
Guy 1: ???
Guy 2: Springs in the air. :)
Did you hear about that one guy who dipped his balls in paint?
My friend said they were “Pretty nuts!”
I lost my job at the bank. Some lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally drop a broom? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally go swimming? She didn't like not having arms.
Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally, she hasn't come back yet.
Q: What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill?
A: A mud slide.
Why is England bad at chess?
'Cause they lost their queen.
Waluigi gets his Walu-weenie stuck in a vending machine!
It’s about drive, it’s about power, We stay hungry, we devour, Put in the work, put in hours, And take what’s ours.
What do school shooting jokes and school shooting victims have in common? They never get old.
What does the school shooter do after he shoots a victim? He shoots more kids in them!
