Neighbor jokes
You want to hear a dirty joke? Jonny played in the mud. You want to hear a clean joke? Jonny took a bath with bubbles. You want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was the next door neighbor.
Dad: Hey son, wanna hear a joke?
Son: Sure thing, dad!
Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbor's dog!
Son: I don't get the joke, dad.
Dad: It's my life, son! My life is the joke.
That one awkward moment you have to go ask your Chinese neighbor if they've seen your dog.
Little Johnny went to the doctor to get an infection checked on his penis. As the doctor examined it, he asked, "Lil Johnny how did you get an infection on your penis?" Johnny replied, "Well, the damn neighbor Sally's braces are too sharp."
A farmer walks up to his farmer neighbor with a jug of milk. The farmer says, "I milked your cow." The neighbor replies, "I have a bull, not a cow."
"This morning, I came out my front door to see my neighbor frantically trying to scrub off the word "PEDO" that had been spray-painted on his front window."
"What's been going on, John?" I asked.
"Fucking kids," came his mumbled reply.
The dirty bastard!
What do you do when your cat's not home?
Answer: You play with your neighbor's pussy.
I went to my sister's room one day. I saw a trophy, so I asked my sister how she won it. My sister said the neighbors gave it to her because she gave out the best hand jobs in the neighborhood. I guess my sister put her hands to good use.
A woman walks onto the bus with her child. The driver says, "That's the ugliest child I have ever seen!" The woman sits down and tells her neighbor. The neighbor replies, "Go say something back. Here, I'll hold your monkey for you!"
I ran over my neighbor's cat last night, and I just want to say... that thing was fast! I had to run a red light to get it!
What happens when you combine candy and dick? That creepy guy down the street!
Can’t believe how ungrateful my dwarf next-door neighbor is. I saw him waiting at the bus stop earlier today and offered to give him a lift, but he told me to “fuck off.” In the end, I decided to just close my rucksack and walk away.
A cock really has a sad life. He's hairs a mess, his neighbor's an arsehole, his best friend is a cunt.
A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.
That moment when you have to ask your Chinese neighbor if he's seen your cat.
Q: Why did the family want to move out while the neighbors were playing tennis?
A: Because they were a racquet!
I told my deaf mom to be nice to the neighbors. She didn't listen...
I was up all night because my neighbors were having sex.
*I was actually up all night watching.*
Which country is next to the USA? USB.
Yo mama so ugly that Mr. Rogers doesn’t wanna be her neighbor.