My neighbor is in the Guinness World Records.
He has had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me.
A stone’s throw away, in fact.
My neighbor is like my marriage. They're both in the hole.
What did the banana say to his neighbor? Yellow!
Why are Putin and Zelensky neighbors?
Apparently, a big dick needs a great set of balls next to it.
Little Johnny's neighbor just had a baby. He got invited to dinner with his neighbor. Little Johnny's dad said if he mentioned "ears" he will get a spank.
So Johnny looked in the bassinet. They were talking about the new baby. Johnny's mum said, "What beautiful eyes."
"That is great," said little Johnny, "because he will be stuffed if he needed glasses."
What do a black and a tornado have in common?
They both wreck neighborhoods.
I heard my neighbors having sex, and it was annoying me, so I called my girlfriend to ask if she wanted to go out, but when I called her, I heard my neighbors' phone ringing.
You're so fat you're the reason they made tread "meals".
You're so ugly we can't have neighbors.
I saw my midget neighbor at a bus stop.
"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home," I said.
"Bugger off!" he shouted back.
"What an ungrateful little man," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.
The neighbor’s children challenged me to a water fight.
I’m just checking my Facebook quickly before the kettle boils.
Some rules of childhood cricket:
1. Whose bat, his batting.
2. Mother called to go while fielding. Then the turn will not be missed.
3. If the Umpire's decision is not acceptable, the decision of the Spectator, Front Uncle, or Neighbor Aunt shall be final.
Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid.
Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. Little Johnny always takes the nickel.
One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, “Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don’t you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel’s bigger?”
Johnny grins and says, “Well, if I took the dime, they’d stop doing it, and so far I’ve made $20!”
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the gay guy's house. Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
The other day all those toilet papers came by my house and asked do I have any crack candy. Naw, I don't have no damn crack candy or no crack apples. All I have here in the backyard is a peanut butter crack sandwich. Help yourself, and while you're at it, clean up all the damn doggie dodo that's everywhere. Thank you, Mr. Toilet Papers.
There was once a genie with a 10 foot weenie, and he showed it to the neighbors next door.
They thought it was a snake and hit it with a rake. Now it's only 6.4ft.
One day, Billy cow wandered off to the railroad tracks where his mother always told him not to go. His mother asked him where he had gone when he got home. He replied that he was just going for a graze. His neighbor later told his mother he had saw him at the railroad tracks. What would you call Billy cow now?
Ground Beef.
A young, innocent little girl is playing hopscotch, and she says, "You step on a crack, you break your mama's back." Then she steps on a crack, so her mother's back proceeded to break slowly. Then she said, "You step on a line, you break your dada's spine," but the neighbor's spine broke, and in happiness, the thought-to-be previous father gets in his car and drives through the garage door...
Neighbor 1: Knock knock.
Neighbor 2: You forgot the 3rd knock.
Odin: .....
Mrs. Duncan knows where you live. She lives there too. In your basement... lolololololololololololololololololol
What’s white and sticky? A white man's penis after taking care of his neighbor's dog.
