Neighbor jokes
Little Johnny got a dog without ears, and then they invited their neighbors over. Then they asked what his name was. The owners said, "We didn't name him anything, because there's no reason. Because when we called his name, he wouldn't come."
When you can’t have Chinese food because you don’t have any pets,
just eat African food, you have plenty of neighbors!
My neighbor's daughter gave me a three-course meal last night:
Starters - role play and stripping.
Main course - Reverse Cowgirl.
Dessert - Blowy.
My lesbian neighbors and my sister gave me a Rolex for my birthday. I guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted a watch.
My neighbor is like my marriage. They're both in the hole.
Why are Putin and Zelensky neighbors?
Apparently, a big dick needs a great set of balls next to it.
What did the banana say to his neighbor? Yellow!
Little Johnny's neighbor just had a baby. He got invited to dinner with his neighbor. Little Johnny's dad said if he mentioned "ears" he will get a spank.
So Johnny looked in the bassinet. They were talking about the new baby. Johnny's mum said, "What beautiful eyes."
"That is great," said little Johnny, "because he will be stuffed if he needed glasses."
What do a black and a tornado have in common?
They both wreck neighborhoods.
I heard my neighbors having sex, and it was annoying me, so I called my girlfriend to ask if she wanted to go out, but when I called her, I heard my neighbors' phone ringing.
When I was doing ju jitsu at my neighbor's cat, I accidentally created a whirlpool and then ate a mango mustard bar.
The neighbor’s children challenged me to a water fight.
I’m just checking my Facebook quickly before the kettle boils.
Some rules of childhood cricket:
1. Whose bat, his batting.
2. Mother called to go while fielding. Then the turn will not be missed.
3. If the Umpire's decision is not acceptable, the decision of the Spectator, Front Uncle, or Neighbor Aunt shall be final.
I saw my midget neighbor at a bus stop.
"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home," I said.
"Bugger off!" he shouted back.
"What an ungrateful little man," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.
You're so fat you're the reason they made tread "meals".
You're so ugly we can't have neighbors.
The penis has a sad life. His hair is always a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him.
He also stands up for kids who can't defend themselves.
DEPRESSION SPEEDRUN starter-kit:
* Parental issues * Money problems * Genetic likeliness * Horrible friends * Annoying neighbors/classmates * School * Being alive * Actually being a good person for once * Giving a f#ck * War-ridden area * All future options kinda suck
Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid.
Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. Little Johnny always takes the nickel.
One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, “Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don’t you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel’s bigger?”
Johnny grins and says, “Well, if I took the dime, they’d stop doing it, and so far I’ve made $20!”
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the gay guy's house. Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
The other day all those toilet papers came by my house and asked do I have any crack candy. Naw, I don't have no damn crack candy or no crack apples. All I have here in the backyard is a peanut butter crack sandwich. Help yourself, and while you're at it, clean up all the damn doggie dodo that's everywhere. Thank you, Mr. Toilet Papers.