Nautical jokes
What do you call a lesbian pirate?
Red Beard.
Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"
Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.
Once there was a boat. Its friends said,
"It's time to come back." And the boat said,
"No way. I don't give into pier pressure."
The pirate looked down the toilet, and what did he see?
The captain's log.
Why do rappers make terrible pirates?
Because they’re always DROPPING HOOKS!
3.14% of sailors are pirates.
Why don’t pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?
They just wash up on shore.
Why don't pirates take a bath before walking the plank?
'Cause they just wash up onshore.
Well, we started off by ripping up ALL of the decking.
Abandon ship!
It's tricky when you're both a moth and a sea captain in charge of a ship, but up ahead, you see a lighthouse.
Why don't pirates take a shower before walking the plank?
They just wash up on shore.
In 1492 Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue.
He sat on a rock, tickled his cock, until it turned red, white, and blue!
What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
"Aye, matey."
What do you call a rapper who's also a pirate?
Captain Rhyme.
Why don't pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?
They just wash up on shore.
Did you know they made a porn site for pirates?
It's called Heavy Arrrrrrg.
What do you call a man with no arms or legs being pulled by a boat?
Skip.
Three copycats on a boat, one jumps off. How many are left? Zero, because they're copycats!