Nautical jokes
Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"
Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.
The pirate looked down the toilet, and what did he see?
The captain's log.
Once there was a boat. Its friends said,
"It's time to come back." And the boat said,
"No way. I don't give into pier pressure."
Why don't pirates take a bath before walking the plank?
'Cause they just wash up onshore.
Why don’t pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?
They just wash up on shore.
Well, we started off by ripping up ALL of the decking.
Abandon ship!
It's tricky when you're both a moth and a sea captain in charge of a ship, but up ahead, you see a lighthouse.
3.14% of sailors are pirates.
Why do rappers make terrible pirates?
Because they’re always DROPPING HOOKS!
Why don't pirates take a shower before walking the plank?
They just wash up on shore.
In 1492 Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue.
He sat on a rock, tickled his cock, until it turned red, white, and blue!
What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
"Aye, matey."
Why don't pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?
They just wash up on shore.
What do you call a rapper who's also a pirate?
Captain Rhyme.
What do you call a man with no arms or legs being pulled by a boat?
Skip.
Three copycats on a boat, one jumps off. How many are left? Zero, because they're copycats!