Nautical Jokes

Hook

Why do rappers make terrible pirates?

Because they’re always DROPPING HOOKS!

Man

What do you call a man with no arms or legs being pulled by a boat?

Skip.

Pirate

Why don't pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?

They just wash up on shore.

Pirate

Why don’t pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?

They just wash up on shore.

Shaq

If Shaq had a boat, he would name it "Freethrow," because he would never sink it.

Boat

Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat?

Because if they fell forward, they'd still be on the boat.

Ocean

In 1492 Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue.

He sat on a rock, tickled his cock, until it turned red, white, and blue!

Pirate

Why don't pirates take a shower before walking the plank?

They just wash up on shore.

Pirate

Why don't pirates take a bath before walking the plank?

'Cause they just wash up onshore.

Pirate

Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"

Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.

Magician

There was a magician on board the Titanic and said that he could make anything disappear.

Once the ship had gone down one of the passengers said to him, "Go on, so what did you do with the ship then?"

Pirate

The pirate looked down the toilet, and what did he see?

The captain's log.

Pirate

Why didn't the pirate want to play cards?

Because he was standing on the deck!

Moth

It's tricky when you're both a moth and a sea captain in charge of a ship, but up ahead, you see a lighthouse.

Pirate

Why does it take so long for the pirates to learn the alphabet?

Because they spend years on C! Pirate: A, B, sea?