What did the ocean say to the pirate? Nothing, it just waved.
If Shaq had a boat, he would name it "Freethrow," because he would never sink it.
Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat?
Because if they fell forward, they'd still be on the boat.
Why don't pirates take a bath before walking the plank?
'Cause they just wash up onshore.
Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"
Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.
Why are pirates pirates?
Because they're Arrrrrrrggghhh!!!
There was a magician on board the Titanic and said that he could make anything disappear.
Once the ship had gone down one of the passengers said to him, "Go on, so what did you do with the ship then?"
Why didn't the pirate want to play cards?
Because he was standing on the deck!
It's tricky when you're both a moth and a sea captain in charge of a ship, but up ahead, you see a lighthouse.
Well, we started off by ripping up ALL of the decking.
Abandon ship!
Why does it take so long for the pirates to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years on C! Pirate: A, B, sea?
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
Aye, matey!
Three copycats on a boat, one jumps off. How many are left? Zero, because they're copycats!
A pirate walks into a bar and has a ship's wheel in his pants.
The bartender asks, "What's with the wheel in your pants?"
The pirate replies, "Yarrr! It's drivin' me nuts!"
A pirate walked into a bar with his ship's steering wheel hanging off his pants. The bartender says, "Hey! What's with the steering wheel?" The pirate says, "I don't know but it's driving me nuts!"
A boat carrying red paint and a boat carrying blue paint crashed into each other. The crews were marooned.
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his dick.
The bartender asks him why.
And the pirate says:
"Argh, It's driving me nuts."
Why can't pirates play cards? Because they're standing on the deck.
When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? -- When there's a sail on it.
How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?
A buccaneer.
