Nautical jokes
Why do rappers make terrible pirates?
Because they’re always DROPPING HOOKS!
What do you call a rapper who's also a pirate?
Captain Rhyme.
What do you call a man with no arms or legs being pulled by a boat?
Skip.
What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
"Aye, matey."
Why don't pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?
They just wash up on shore.
What did the ocean say to the pirate? Nothing, it just waved.
Why don’t pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?
They just wash up on shore.
If Shaq had a boat, he would name it "Freethrow," because he would never sink it.
Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat?
Because if they fell forward, they'd still be on the boat.
In 1492 Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue.
He sat on a rock, tickled his cock, until it turned red, white, and blue!
Why don't pirates take a shower before walking the plank?
They just wash up on shore.
Why don't pirates take a bath before walking the plank?
'Cause they just wash up onshore.
Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"
Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.
Why are pirates pirates?
Because they're Arrrrrrrggghhh!!!
There was a magician on board the Titanic and said that he could make anything disappear.
Once the ship had gone down one of the passengers said to him, "Go on, so what did you do with the ship then?"
The pirate looked down the toilet, and what did he see?
The captain's log.
Why didn't the pirate want to play cards?
Because he was standing on the deck!
It's tricky when you're both a moth and a sea captain in charge of a ship, but up ahead, you see a lighthouse.
Well, we started off by ripping up ALL of the decking.
Abandon ship!
Why does it take so long for the pirates to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years on C! Pirate: A, B, sea?