I was making a coffee for my boss and this was the supposed recipe:
1 egg 1 tomato diced bell peppers a bag of sugar sea salt coffee beans rusted nails.
I got fired and spent the next 20 years in prison with a dude named Papa Bear.
My Jokes
Finally my father came early from office today. I am very happy.
He was fired from his job.
Jack is a ugly meany who’s not going to my birthday!
@ Kobe the person under my joke, your hairline is so bad that Kobe Bryant could've lived if he landed the helicopter on your forehead.
My dad has a pretty shitty job.
"I really hate cats," my friend replied with, "You gotta be kitten me."
We never saw him again.
Mortar is like a woman's fanny; the more you play with it, the wetter it gets.
My tutor just said this quote of 2k18^^^
Pontypool is rough.
My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.
So I was looking through my pictures and I found a picture of a random kid that took a picture of his ugly face. It looked like someone that got hit by a car, then a bus, then a semi.
That’s what I get for not having a password on my iPad.
I was in my car listening to my radio. Steve Winwood's song came on, "Just Roll With It, Baby." I said that must be one of Stephen Hawking's favorite songs; he sings it to his girlfriend.
There was an enemy with a machine gun.
My commander said, "Un-arm the enemy."
So I ran over to the enemy and chopped his arms off.
My teacher told me to have a good day. SOOOOOOOOOO I went home :)
"Where ya going?"
"When I die, hell, but right now, my room."
Some people decide to start a blog.
Others decide to start a blog.
You know what my sink started?
A clog.
It was too irritating to listen to her and lend her my ear to talk to.
Orphan: I want to be a relator.
Teacher: Why?
Orphan: Because I never had one in my childhood.
I was looking for my sister... I looked down at my feet and saw her.
Why do I f*** my mom?
Like father like son. #batabababa
I would tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I can only think of the punchline.
My life, haha, so funny!
