My jokes

Fortnite battle pass, I just shit out my ass. The school: You did what?

You wonder where my dad is.

Meanwhile, Dad: It's good to be at milk island!

Why can't my grandma talk?

Because she's dead.

I remember you. You used to be an ash.

I would love to roast you more, but my mom said to not burn trash.

Are you a hotdog stand? 'Cause you make my hotdog stand ;)

"CoComelon meme,

No matter how fast I run, I can't escape my problems - OULEH...

Nobody loves me .v."

My friend is so ugly, she got surgery twice, but not even that could fix her.

My gardener found a dead body. Of the old gardener!

I still remember my dad's last words, "You c***! You let the ladder go, you cuuunt!"

Smack! He hit the ground and bled out.

Have you seen my uncle?

Jesus: I have.

God: Me too.

Lionel: Leona, please no more singing your annoying Fuzzy Bear song!

Leona: But I love my song, right Fuzzy?

Fuzzy Bear: I am going to bite you for not letting your sister sing my song!

*Fuzzy Bear bites Lionel*

Lionel: AHHHHHHH

The highest praise my wife gave to me was when she told me, "The best feminine attribute on your body as a woman would be your p🍆nis." 🥰

Girl, are you a public school? Because I want to shoot my kids inside you.

Every time my grandmother and I were at a wedding, she’d say: “you’re next.” So I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.

Sonic Boom in my ass.

So I went to a church the other day and I asked my friend, "Is that painting of Jesus and is it through the wall with one with three nails?" Oh wait, I wasn’t even Jesus, he’s not doing the T post that he invented.

I remember locking my door, but then I went downstairs to hear someone say, "I'm inside your home." I said, "GTFO my house, BICH!"

The name is Ash, Johnathan Ash. My friends call me Jack.

My dad was a master of art. He was compared to Houdini due to his skill of disappearing.

Hey, Squidward, say "kid" backward. Also, suck my dick!