My jokes

Children are so ungrateful nowadays. I got my daughter a bike, but now she’s crying on the floor saying, “I don’t have legs!”

I love riding my bike 🚲.

He said he didn't want to be my brother anymore.

He's now my sister.

I like my COVID like I like my women: 19 and easy to spread.

My sister said I'm stupid and I'm a baby, and I said, "Oh, I didn't know we were talking about you."

My sister beat me in a race. She gave me a raspberry. I was bitter.

My sister said, "LET'S GO TO PIZZA!" So, I went to the pizza shop with her and she replied, "We really only needed the car?"

I go 7u7. I said I go 7u7. Get Rick and rolled, my son.

I can't wait to have 2020 in my hindsight.

Me and my friends were telling puns. My teacher said we should be “pun-ished.”

The exam is knocking at my door... so I ran away from the window.

My wife called me ugly, and then when she found out how much money I actually make, she called me ugly and broke.

My fish puns aren't on porpoise.

My brother Taf likes to pee the bed.

There are days I feel really bad for my Wife. She has to feed me in the same place I take a dump.

She really hates it when I spit my food back out.

My dad left me.

Daughter: Dad, why did Mom do best?

Dad: Nothing, except pretend to love us and leave.

Daughter: So she only loves my sister?

Dad: Yep.

My life, part 2.

I met this kid and he was being bullied by 9 people. I Asked 1 whats going on. They all said another one to bully they all tried hitting me and then my mates which was like 15 of them came in and it was like war all over again.

First Man: My dog's got no nose.

Second Man: How does he smell?

First Man: Awful.