My jokes

I asked God why nobody likes me. He showed a reflection of myself.

My dad died in 9/11. I'll always remember his last words:

Allah hu akbar.

My dad was in the plane in 9/11, and he was the smart one that convinced everyone. He said, "We're fucked."

My wife told me to hang her the salt, so I beat the shit out of her. My name's Kyle, by the way.

Friend: What are you doing?

Me: Putting peanut butter on my balls.

Friend hears in the distance, "Orphans, I have food for you!"

My friend saw your forehead and realized you're gay.

I'm black, and I have a dying family in my basement that hasn't eaten in 2 weeks. They need help.

Btw, it's a joke lol.

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you just finish me off already?

The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.

I'm so emo, my blood is black.

My sister said, "LET'S GO TO PIZZA!" So, I went to the pizza shop with her and she replied, "We really only needed the car?"

My friend: "Hey, I see a dwarf!"

Me: "Where?"

Friend: "In front of me."

I fell in love with my teacher.

Which is weird because I am home schooled.

My money don't jiggle jiggle, it folds.

I want to see you wiggle wiggle, for sure.

Why did my brother cross the road?

Because he was looking for his brain.

Guys, can you like my jokes, please?

I asked my mother about her mom.

She said she was in a better place. After that, I asked her where that place is. She didn't know, so I sent her to a better place.

I wish my grass was emo, then it would cut for me.

Roses are red, my pencil is blunt.

A parrot trapped on a roof keeps telling the fire crew to f*ck off!

Dick in my mouth.