Hate when my phone dies instead of me :))
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what is less then 0
my will to live
My husband told me to make him a sandwich. I was looking online for some comebacks. Someone online said You better comeback with a goddamn sandwich
Roses are red, life has no meaning, voices in my head, are constantly screaming.
A kid walks in late to class, the teacher asks him "why are you late?" and he replies "I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake" Another kid walks in late to class and the teacher asks him "why are you late" and he replies "I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake", The last kid walks in and the teacher says "why are you late?...and why are you wet?" and the kid says back REMEBER MY NAME IS PEBBLES!!
I would name my dog five miles so I could say I walk five miles every day but today I ran over five miles
When you suffer from depression and Somebody tells you to just cheer up-- Me: my goodness, what an idea! why didn't i think of this before
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The average human male walks for five miles, but the gas station is ten miles away. So why does it take fifteen years for my dad to buy cigarettes?
You wanna know what i want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.
What's both red, white and sometimes purple My arms...
I lost my black friend in the shadows. I lost my white friend on the wall. I lost my Asian friend in the sand and I lost my Islamic friend in the bombings.
I told my friend yesterday he's literally my dad.
He didn't show up for the rest of the year.
Ever since I needed a wheelchair, my husband has been so rude. He’s been pushing me around and talking behind my back.
You know, people should really stop making fun of 911....both my parents died.
One driving one plane, and the other driving the other.
It's been raining for days. My wife is totally depressed. She keeps looking through the window. If this keeps up, I'll have to let her in.
My friend called me a dick earlier. I said you are what you eat. He then proceeded to run away from me.
My Xbox has been acting up lately...
So I painted it black to make it run faster
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