My Jokes

Q: What’s the difference between me and cancer? A: My dad didn’t beat cancer...

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

My town's population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.

Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind.

What's the difference between that bridge and my will to live? None, they're both too short.

i cought my girlfriend cheating on me, with our dad.

A kid annoyed me the other day. I told him to shut up and go back to his parents. That's the last time I'm going to an orphanage.

The twin tower were like my parents... They never came back

Why can't an orphan be gay?? Because they don't have anyone to call daddy ( My bad if this offended anyone)

My friend told me he had a sister. i asked if she was hot and he said she was 8. that wasnt my question

Two men are in a rainforest and one of them is peeing. Suddenly a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “ Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!”. He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out. The man wen back to the other man and said, “ There is no hope, you will die.”

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I'll never forget my grandma's last words, "What are you doing in here with that hammer?"

One time this kid came back from school and said "Mom I have one good news and one bad news, which one do you wanna hear first?" And his mom said "Good news please.'' and the boy said "I got 100% on my math test today" and his mom gave him a hug, and the boy said "Now to the bad news, I LIED"