My jokes
I stole my friend's amnesia medication the other day, he was pretty pissed.
But I reminded him of the age-old mantra: "Forgive and forget!"
Ur mom.
Oops my bad! 😬
Worst joke ever: me and my user.
What is blue and wiggling on my floor?
A baby in a bag.
I can't have my Oreos 😭 Why?
My dad still hasn't came back with that God damn milk.
What did a Jedi say to Darth Vader? "You're not my father, I am yours!"
My grandpa died in 9/11.
He was the best pilot.
I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies.
She is not “fun to be around.”
Had an amazing night with this girl, woke up, and it was my aunt. Now I’m in love.
My wife is so fat! I took her to the Grand Canyon. She fell in and got stuck!
What's the difference between a pile of babies and a Lamborghini?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage...
POV: Your grandma is on life support. I would unplug her life support to charge my third phone.
My will to live.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where is my tractor?"
I complained to my dad why he never took me to the zoo.
He said if they want you, they’ll come get you.
My mom has a toy that I see all the girls and guys seem to play with, and the toy is between my mom's legs.
What should my next YT vid be about?
Thanks to the voice who keeps telling me to let go,
he is my only motivation for trying again.
I just got my doctor's test results and I'm really upset about it. Turns out, I'm not gonna be a doctor.
The other day my girlfriend asked me to hand her the red lipstick, so I handed her the dog.