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Must jokes

"Your ass must be jealous of all that shit that comes out of your mouth."

Elmo: Welcome to the new micronation of Tickelandia.

Dude: Why are we close to Disneyland?

Kid: I don't know.

Elmo: Rule 1, you must not tell the forests or Bob Iger about us.

Meanwhile, Officer: Come on, Elmo, you're going to prison.

*Officer arrests Elmo*

Elmo: But who wants tickles?

Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."

Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"

"Suicide bomber kills 44 people in Pakistan mosque." Damn, that's a crazy K/D. He must be hacking.

You're so ugly whenever you say hi, people walk away and say that you were too ugly, and they go take a bath right away because you're so stinky.

They say that you look like your mama. Wait, your mama must be just like you because I can see her way from a mile!

You say you put on perfume, but every time I smell you, you smell like poo-poo. You're so ugly that when your mom looks in the mirror, you cry. You're so stupid the second-grade teacher had to tell you to go all the way to kindergarten. Head Start is every grade below you. You can't even go to the 20th grade, which stands for 9th grade. You can't even go to grocery stores, and people that tell you that you're so ugly give you compliments just to make you feel better. You know that everybody just likes you just because they just don't want to hurt your feelings, so just stay in your mind. Hey, you want to text Matt; you know it was you because every time you see you, you think that you matter. Matter fact, he doesn't even like you; he just wants your money girl. Who even likes you? šŸ˜ˆšŸ˜ˆ

Your hairline and your forehead must have a lot in common because they go waaaaaaaayyy back!

The companies that made the hand gel sanitizer must be absolutely rubbing their hands together!

My brother apparently has this thing called "asthma". Anyway, I took his vape away today, and he was lying on the floor gasping for air, lol. He must really be addicted to it.

Your favorite artist must be Rihanna, the way your forehead shines bright like a diamond!

So Iā€™m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.

My dad starts laughing at me.

Dad: ā€œSon! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?ā€

Me: ā€œWhy dad?ā€

Dad: ā€œBecause it ainā€™t got no pop!ā€

The cold winter night, there was a cabin in the woods. The cabin housed 3 men. The men were gay but they did not know.

Fili: "Fili." Kili: "And Kili." Fili and Kili: "At your service." Kili: "You must be Mr. Baggins." Bilbo: "No! You canā€™t come in, youā€™ve come to the wrong house." Kili: "What?! Has it been canceled?" Fili: "No one told us." Bilbo: "Can...! No, nothingā€™s been canceled." Kili: "Thatā€™s a relief." Fili: "Careful with these, I just had them sharpened." Kili: "Itā€™s nice, this place. Did you do it yourself?" Bilbo: "Uh...no, itā€™s been in the family for years. Thatā€™s my motherā€™s glory box, can you please not do that?" Dwalin: "Fili, KiĀ­li, come on, give us a hand." Kili: "Mr. Dwalin." Balin: "Letā€™s shove this in the hole, or otherwise weā€™ll never get everyone in." Bilbo: "Ev...everyone?! How many more are there? Oh, no! No, no. Thereā€™s nobody home! Go away, and bother somebody else! Thereā€™s far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If...if this is some blockheadā€™s idea of a joke, I can only say, it is in very poor taste!" One of the Dwarves: "Get off, you big lump!"

Then the men only had one seat they had in the cabin. It was a bar seat. they were able to flip it upside down and fit all of them on it.