Music jokes
Jerry Garcia: I’m going on a TRIP today!
Bob Weir: Where are you going?
Jerry Garcia: I’m already on it. 😯🦄🌈
What is an emo kid's favorite song?
"Chain Hang Low" because he hangs low off a chain tied to a tree.
Yo mama so fat that when she farted, Big Shaq took off his jacket.
Orphans are so unwanted that when One Direction saw one, it went the other direction.
Why is Donald Trump under so much stress?
Because he signed up to be on an album where somebody says "no love for the rich" on it.
Memes
I tried to name my grass "emo" so it will cut itself.
What's an orphan's least favorite theme song? The Barney theme song.
What do you call a flat emo?
Cutting board.
What do you call a group of emos?
The Suasied Squid.
That moment when you think the music is loud enough to fart and no one would notice, but then you realize that you have headphones on.
What kind of instrument is always having to go potty?
A pee-ano/piano.
Why does a cow love music?
Because it can play a moo-sical instrument.
I tried to play with rock, but it was hard.
What sound does a nut make when it comes alive?
Christmas!
Why is the Nazi Anthem banned in Germany? Because Horst Wessel lied.
What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!
What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!
What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!
How do rappers greet each other?
With a "Mic check, one-two."
What’s a rapper’s favorite MUSICAL NOTE?
G major.
Last night I had the strangest dream!
I sailed away to China!
And I caught the coronavirus!
You said you needed to wash your hands!
Didn't want no one else to touch you! What does that mean?!
And you said!!
Ain't nothing gonna break my lungs 😤!
Ain't no way of slowing Covid down!
Oh no I've got to keep on coughing!!!
Why is Michael Jackson so weak?