Music jokes
Stephen Hawking listens to the song "I Am Still Standing" and cries to himself.
I tried to play with rock, but it was hard.
What sound does a nut make when it comes alive?
Christmas!
What if Stephen Hawking was the Real Slim Shady, but no one knew because he couldn't stand up?
How do you punish Stevie Wonder for bad behavior?
You move all of the furniture around.
Why is Michael Jackson so weak?
Four cows went to the county fair. They saw a sign that said that next year animals can enter a singing contest. They decided that they would enter next year. So they called their group the "4 Cs Quartet" since their names were Clementine, Candy, Cookie, and Columbine.
They discovered how they could win. After a discussion, they decided to eat as much corn as possible, so they would sing in perfect 4 part hominy.
What do you call a priest who became a singer?
Michael Jackson.
Emos are weird to me because they dress up all black, and you know I don't like that, so that's why I don't like it.
I got a chicken drum stick for lunch, thought I might drum up an appetite!
What did the trumpet say to Trump?
"Hi, fellow trumpet!"
My son asked me to stop singing Oasis songs in public. I said maybe.
After I am dead during my funeral service, I want someone to play my favorite song by Boy George and Culture Club, "Church of the Poison Mind."
I tried to catch yodeling, but he evolved to yodingalig.
Liam Gallagher went into a café for a cup of tea. The assistant asked him if "he wanted a roll with it."
Justin Bieber
Why was the rapper always on time?
Because they had mad flow!
Why did the rapper become a barber?
Because they love CUTTING TRACKS!
What do you call a rapper who LOVES space?
Snoop Star.
Why did the rapper become a teacher?
Because they had a knack for dropping KNOWLEDGE.