Music jokes
What do you call a group of emos?
The Suasied Squid.
What do you call a flat emo?
Cutting board.
Jerry Garcia: I’m going on a TRIP today!
Bob Weir: Where are you going?
Jerry Garcia: I’m already on it. 😯🦄🌈
That moment when you think the music is loud enough to fart and no one would notice, but then you realize that you have headphones on.
Why does a cow love music?
Because it can play a moo-sical instrument.
What kind of instrument is always having to go potty?
A pee-ano/piano.
How do you punish Stevie Wonder for bad behavior?
You move all of the furniture around.
Why is Michael Jackson so weak?
Four cows went to the county fair. They saw a sign that said that next year animals can enter a singing contest. They decided that they would enter next year. So they called their group the "4 Cs Quartet" since their names were Clementine, Candy, Cookie, and Columbine.
They discovered how they could win. After a discussion, they decided to eat as much corn as possible, so they would sing in perfect 4 part hominy.
After I am dead during my funeral service, I want someone to play my favorite song by Boy George and Culture Club, "Church of the Poison Mind."
What did the trumpet say to Trump?
"Hi, fellow trumpet!"
I got a chicken drum stick for lunch, thought I might drum up an appetite!
My son asked me to stop singing Oasis songs in public. I said maybe.
What do you call a priest who became a singer?
Michael Jackson.
Emos are weird to me because they dress up all black, and you know I don't like that, so that's why I don't like it.
I tried to catch yodeling, but he evolved to yodingalig.
Liam Gallagher went into a café for a cup of tea. The assistant asked him if "he wanted a roll with it."
Justin Bieber
My wife asked me to please quit singing "Wonderwall" in the shower.
I said, "Maybe."
Why was Trump banned from music class? He kept putting his finger on D minor.
What was Clinton encouraged to get in college? A minor.