Music jokes
What do you call a group of emos?
The Suasied Squid.
Jerry Garcia: I’m going on a TRIP today!
Bob Weir: Where are you going?
Jerry Garcia: I’m already on it. 😯🦄🌈
What kind of instrument is always having to go potty?
A pee-ano/piano.
That moment when you think the music is loud enough to fart and no one would notice, but then you realize that you have headphones on.
Why does a cow love music?
Because it can play a moo-sical instrument.
Stephen Hawking listens to the song "I Am Still Standing" and cries to himself.
Why is the Nazi Anthem banned in Germany? Because Horst Wessel lied.
How do you punish Stevie Wonder for bad behavior?
You move all of the furniture around.
Why is Michael Jackson so weak?
Four cows went to the county fair. They saw a sign that said that next year animals can enter a singing contest. They decided that they would enter next year. So they called their group the "4 Cs Quartet" since their names were Clementine, Candy, Cookie, and Columbine.
They discovered how they could win. After a discussion, they decided to eat as much corn as possible, so they would sing in perfect 4 part hominy.
What do you call a priest who became a singer?
Michael Jackson.
Emos are weird to me because they dress up all black, and you know I don't like that, so that's why I don't like it.
What did the trumpet say to Trump?
"Hi, fellow trumpet!"
After I am dead during my funeral service, I want someone to play my favorite song by Boy George and Culture Club, "Church of the Poison Mind."
I tried to catch yodeling, but he evolved to yodingalig.
I got a chicken drum stick for lunch, thought I might drum up an appetite!
My son asked me to stop singing Oasis songs in public. I said maybe.
Liam Gallagher went into a café for a cup of tea. The assistant asked him if "he wanted a roll with it."
Justin Bieber
Why did the rapper become a plumber?
Because he wanted to lay down some SICK PIPES!