My friend had one request for me before he committed suicide, and that was to play Van Halen’s “Jump” at his funeral.
Music Jokes
What does Michael Jackson get high on? A little crack.
What was one phrase Michael Jackson said to a boy in his bed? Baby, be mine.
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite poker hand?
Jacks and 5.
Hey, did you know that 9/11 won a Grammy?
Yes, best comedy award.
Oh no, I feel bad for Stephen Hawking. He can’t get up the stairway to Heaven.
You're the type of person to play "Girl on Fire" during a funeral.
Why did Michael Jackson go to Walmart? Because he heard boys' pants were half off!
I love rap!
What games would deaf people not be good at?
Simon says and Musical chairs.
What's Pee-Wee Herman's favorite Michael Jackson song?
Beat It.
Tibia honest, it takes a lot of spine to memorize all the bones in the skeletal system. I mean, there's a skele-ton of em! You gotta be boned up for the skeletal system exam, buddy chum pal. Now that was a humerus ribtickling skelepun. Besides, if ya don't know all of the bones in the skeletal system, get boned, fucking numbskull. Did those tickle your funny bone? Now I've been working down to the bone typing these puns, kid. Now if you hate all these, I won't be bothered, I got thick skin! But first, lemme take a skelfie in the skelevator playing my trom-bone. Now, I gotta go to Grillby's. They got a discount on spare-ribs. Bone-voyage, my homeslice breadslice dawg.
What’s the worst song to play in front of a vegetable? “James Brown - Get on Up”
What’s the worst song to play in front of a handicapped kid? “Van Halen - Jump”
What's the worst song to play in front of a black man in Minneapolis? “I Can't Breathe - Juice Wrld”
Kid: "Mom, I had a scary dream. Can I come sleep with you and dad?"
Mom: "Sure, sweetie, sleep in the middle."
Kid: "Dad, can you get the remote out of my back?"
Dad: "That isn't the remote."
*Weird background music*
Olivia Rodrigo
What's Juice WRLD's favorite place to shop at?
Answer: Forever 21.
What song genre do the national anthems fit into?
Country.
What's a Parkinson's victim's least favorite song?
Taylor Swift - "Shake it Off".
What does it sound like when a dragon sings? A fire alarm.
Why was Michael Jackson kicked out of boy scouts? He was up to a pack a day!
