Music

Music jokes

Emo

Why can't emos stand in chairs?

Because they never get down.

Hole

Q: What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said to Courtney Love before he died?

A: “Holes gonna be big.”

Contract

ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG

Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.

Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.

Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.

I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.

Pitch

What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?”

Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.

Violist

Why don’t violists play hide and seek?

Because no one will look for them.

Memes

Song

I'm lookin' for some good jokes for the best song award. Can y'all help a fellow out?

Pressure

Employer: Can you perform under pressure?

Me: No, but I do a pretty good "Bohemian Rhapsody."

Adele

Why doesn't Adele swim properly?

Because she's rolling in the deep. 🤽‍♂️

Musician

Why do musicians in New Orleans smell so good?

Because they're jasmine (jazz men)!

Pop

I cannot believe Kelly Clarkson's music is considered pop! More like comatose music!

Santa

What's the difference between Chris Brown and Santa?

Santa stops at three hoes.

Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson, who's terrified of adult women, once had a girlfriend, but broke it off with her. When she asked him why, he said, "It's not you, it's me-hee-hee."