Music jokes
How do you call a Goth with feelings?
Emomotional.
How do we know Stephen is dying in hell?
There’s a stairway to heaven.
Why did the rapper go broke?
He kept dropping dimes.
What is Michael Jackson's chemical? The HE-HE-lium.
If I had a dollar for every time a rap hater made an intelligent statement, I’d be more broke than the rap haters.
What did the rapper say to the computer?
“Yo, stop laggin’ my FLOW!”
- Dude, what is your favorite rapper?
- He is very cold-blooded.
- Why?
- He is Ice Cube.
I'm listening to a song about fish--it's very catchy.
What concert only costs 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
When is a right time to dance on a body? If it is under the floorboards.
I live inside my own world of make-believe. Kids screaming in their cradles, profanities. I see the world through eyes covered in ink and bleach. Cross out the ones who heard my cries and watched me weep. I love everything. Fire's spreading all around my room. My world's so bright. It's hard to breathe, but that's alright. Hush, shh.
Tape my eyes open to force reality (oh no, no). Why can't you just let me eat my weight in glee? I live inside my own world of make-believe. Kids screaming in their cradles, profanities. Some days I feel skinnier than all the other days, And some days I can't tell if my body belongs to me. I love everything. Fire's spreading all around my room. My world's so bright. It's hard to breathe, but that's alright. Hush, shh.
I wanna taste your content. Hold your breath and feel the tension. Devils hide behind redemption. Honesty is a one-way gate to hell. I wanna taste consumption. Breathe faster to waste oxygen. Hear the children sing aloud. It's music 'til the wick burns out. Hush.
Just wanna be carefree lately, yeah. Just kicking up daisies. Got one too many quarters in my pockets. Count 'em like the four-leaf clovers in my locket. Untied laces, yeah. Just tripping on daydreams. Got dirty little lullabies playing on repeat. Might as well just rot around the nursery and count sheep.
I asked Michael Jackson when did he lose his virginity. He just replied with "HEHE!"
Q. What's the difference between people and a toilet?
A. Neither does R. Kelly.
What do you call a rapper who loves gardening?
Dr. Dre-seed.
Does Eminem like M\&M's? Cause if he didn't, that would be like "they're" not liking "there."
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite type of music?
Rock and Roll.
Jill went up to a bar to play a game of pool. Then Jack came in and asked Jill if she wanted to ride in his new car. She said, "I have to think." Then Jack said, "At least let me buy you a drink." After 5 drinks, he asked again. This time she said yes, so they got in the car and Jack and Jill rode up a hill to Jack's home. Then Jack said, "Close your eyes, I got a surprise!" So Jack lead Jill to his room then said, "Open your eyes!" So Jill opened her eyes, then Jack got them some red wine. Jack got drunk and unzipped his fly and Jack said, "I know you wanna." She said, "No way!" So Jack gave her one more drink, then she passed out. Then Jack ripped all his clothes off. Then he did the same to Jill. Then he did it till 3am.
What was Beethoven called when he only ate beef? Beefthoven!
How to make emo cakes:
Milk Butter Eggs Sugar We're Going Down Swinging!
My impression of Michael Jackson's butler:
When answering the phone: "No, sorry, he's dead." *hangs up phone*