Music jokes
So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not), and Michael Jackson's song "Billie Jean" sounds like my name, and so my mom says, as the song is playing, "(My name) is not my daughter, she's just a girl who claims that I am her mum." Wow. *applauds for mother* Love you momma =)
Why do people think Mozart was autistic?
Because he was probably retarded.
What does Michael Jackson like to carry around? A little ball sack.
What did Michael Jackson say when Anne got hurt?
"♫ ANNIE, ARE YOU OKAY? ARE YOU OKAY, ANNIE? ANNIE ARE YOU OKAY. BUT JUST TELL US, THAT YOU'RE OKAY. ♫"
Emo
What's the difference between depression and a girl?
XXXTentacion can't seem to beat depression.
Your mom is so fat that she thought Eminem is a candy.
Did you hear about the broken guitar for sale?
It comes with no strings attached.
I'm gonna open up a bar for emos.
I think I'll call it "The Cutting Board."
Why did the rapper go to school?
To improve his FLOW-CULUS.
What do you call a Navajo with a lot of cash?
Johnny Cash.
Alright, my sister is ALWAYS dancing randomly all the time, and what I say is, "Go get you boyfriend, dude!"
Why is Donald Trump under so much stress?
Because he signed up to be on an album where somebody says "no love for the rich" on it.
I was listening to WAP in my car with my four-year-old cousin, and she asked why they don't fix the holes in the house.
Then my fucking boyfriend, what a hoe, was and pointed to me. I pushed him out of the car, and my other boyfriend took the front seat.
My favorite instrument? The TromBONE, of course.
I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a "fret."
Last night I had the strangest dream!
I sailed away to China!
And I caught the coronavirus!
You said you needed to wash your hands!
Didn't want no one else to touch you! What does that mean?!
And you said!!
Ain't nothing gonna break my lungs 😤!
Ain't no way of slowing Covid down!
Oh no I've got to keep on coughing!!!
What is a paedophile’s favourite symphony?
Amadeus Mozart’s special flute in A minor.
How do you start a rave in Ethiopia?
You put food on the ceiling and they start jumping.
Why did the nerd get scared of the emo? Because the nerd likes to leave the emo hanging.