Music jokes

Did you hear about the broken guitar for sale?

It comes with no strings attached.

Two to the one from the one to the three, I like good pussy and I like good trees, Smoke so much weed you wouldn't believe, And I get more ass than a toilet seat.

Three to the one from the one to the three, I met a bad bitch last night in the D, Let me tell you how I made her leave with me, Conversation and Hennessey.

I've been to the motherfuckin' mountain top, Heard motherfuckers talk, seen and dropped, If I ain't got a weapon I'ma pick up a rock, And when I bust yo ass I'ma continue to rock.

Getcha ass of the wall with your two left feet, It's real easy just follow the beat, Don't let that fine girl pass you by, Look real close 'cause strobe lights blind.

What was Beethoven called when he only ate beef?

Beefthoven!

What is a paedophile’s favourite symphony?

Amadeus Mozart’s special flute in A minor.

Why did the nerd get scared of the emo? Because the nerd likes to leave the emo hanging.

How do you start a rave in Ethiopia?

You put food on the ceiling and they start jumping.

If only Karen Carpenter had eaten Mama Cass's sandwich...

Why can’t blind people sing [if] that can’t hear because they can see the lyrics?

Question: What's brown and sitting on the piano bench?

Answer: Beethoven's last movement.

Want to know what Juice WRLD would do if he were alive today?

Frantically scratch on the inside of his coffin.

Hi, I am Michael Jackson, pronouns are HEE/HEE!

Watching porn.

Watching porn blow my dick like a basset horn.

A horse, a fox, and a bunny join together and make a rock band. They started doing tiny gigs, but they got famous and went on tour. They all got so famous it went to their heads, and the band disbanded. The fox made his, and the bunny made her own. The horse was sad that the band was no more, so he went to a bar, and the bartender asked why the long face?

So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.

Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.

Yeah, she said, "Do you love me?" I said, "Only partly. I love my bed and my mommy. I'm sorry."

What's a flat-chested emo called?

A cutting board.

Can I get a Hoyah?

I played piano at a Worthmore disabled elderly center. Then after I was done, I said, "How about you give me a standing ovation?"

I regret it to this day. Now I am forced to live here at Worthmore, and sit on my wheelchair, sad and lonely.

Why don’t rappers tell secrets?

Because they always end up DROPPING it.

What is Rapboat's favorite musical note? A minor.