Mum jokes

Your mum (mom) so fat, she wore a yellow T-shirt, they said "Taxi!"

"Ethan is gay," you say that, but first, who asked? And second, where's your mum at? Correction, where's your family, so how dare you? Now in the comments say sorry, or I'm coming for you! 😡😡😜😝

What does your mom say when she is working?

Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.

Your mum is so cute that I asked for her number and she said yes, and now we're dating.

My mum said not to walk the streets because I won't find home the next day. I was an orphan.

Your mum went to the dentist so she could install Bluetooth.

Q: What type of flowers do orphans hate? A: Mums.

Your mum is so fat, when she slept on the bed, the bed cracked and they had to replace it by a dinosaur.

I was absolutely fuming when I found out my mate was rifling through my mum's knicker drawer.

No one goes in there without my permission!

What's the similarity between your mum and West Ham?

Your mum blows spunk bubbles from her ass.

What did mum say when grandpa called?

Boomerang.

Why did my dad leave me and my mum?

I told him it wasn't big enough and then ran off saying, "Daddy, yeeeees!"

I love punching orphans. What are they gonna do? Tell their mum?

I told my Mum, "Will you remember me in 6 minutes, 6 hours, 6 years?"

She said, "Yes."

"Knock knock."

I said, "My mum, who's there? You didn’t remember me!"

The Britains walk in the house of the alcoholic grandad. They ask Mary, the mum, why she had blood all over her, and she said someone dropped the butter. They walked into the living room, and Thomas was dead on the floor.

Welcome to youtube.com.

Where we treat our patients nicely.

Hi.

Your mum is so ugly that aliens don’t come here.

Your mum is so cool, she looks like a fridge. Quote: Jude Porters.

While I was waiting for your mum to waddle past, I missed a whole season of my TV show!

Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?

Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!