Mum jokes
What's the similarity between your mum and West Ham?
Your mum blows spunk bubbles from her ass.
What did mum say when grandpa called?
Boomerang.
Why did my dad leave me and my mum?
I told him it wasn't big enough and then ran off saying, "Daddy, yeeeees!"
Your mum is so fat, when she slept on the bed, the bed cracked and they had to replace it by a dinosaur.
Your mum went to the dentist so she could install Bluetooth.
Q: What type of flowers do orphans hate? A: Mums.
I love punching orphans. What are they gonna do? Tell their mum?
My mum said not to walk the streets because I won't find home the next day. I was an orphan.
Your mum is so ugly that aliens don’t come here.
Welcome to youtube.com.
Where we treat our patients nicely.
Hi.
My dad came out of my step-sister's room as I came out of my step-mum's room.
Your mum is like a Golden Knight. She will still attack my tower with troops in the way, like Jude Porter.
What does your mom say when she is working?
Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.
Your mum (mom) so fat, she wore a yellow T-shirt, they said "Taxi!"
Your mum is so cute that I asked for her number and she said yes, and now we're dating.
I told my Mum, "Will you remember me in 6 minutes, 6 hours, 6 years?"
She said, "Yes."
"Knock knock."
I said, "My mum, who's there? You didn’t remember me!"
My mum told me to do the dog poo, but I couldn't find you anywhere.
The average Irish person consumes 131.1 litres of beer, almost as much as your mum at night.
Your mum's so fat, she fell into the Grand Canyon and got stuck going down.
Mum: Why are you throwing a paper plane at the twins?
Me: 😈