Mum jokes
My dad came out of my step-sister's room as I came out of my step-mum's room.
What does your mom say when she is working?
Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.
Your mum (mom) so fat, she wore a yellow T-shirt, they said "Taxi!"
Your mum is so cute that I asked for her number and she said yes, and now we're dating.
"Ethan is gay," you say that, but first, who asked? And second, where's your mum at? Correction, where's your family, so how dare you? Now in the comments say sorry, or I'm coming for you! 😡😡😜😝
Your mum is so fat, when she slept on the bed, the bed cracked and they had to replace it by a dinosaur.
Your mum went to the dentist so she could install Bluetooth.
Q: What type of flowers do orphans hate? A: Mums.
What's the similarity between your mum and West Ham?
Your mum blows spunk bubbles from her ass.
I love punching orphans. What are they gonna do? Tell their mum?
I told my Mum, "Will you remember me in 6 minutes, 6 hours, 6 years?"
She said, "Yes."
"Knock knock."
I said, "My mum, who's there? You didn’t remember me!"
I was absolutely fuming when I found out my mate was rifling through my mum's knicker drawer.
No one goes in there without my permission!
Why did my dad leave me and my mum?
I told him it wasn't big enough and then ran off saying, "Daddy, yeeeees!"
My mum said not to walk the streets because I won't find home the next day. I was an orphan.
What did mum say when grandpa called?
Boomerang.
Your mum is so ugly that aliens don’t come here.
Welcome to youtube.com.
Where we treat our patients nicely.
Hi.
Your mum's vagina is so ravenous, that last night we both ended up on the living room floor, with her on top. She was eating my creamy young face off.
Your mum is so cool, she looks like a fridge. Quote: Jude Porters.
Little off topic but...
Mum: You wouldn't be here without me.
Son: And my birth certificate is a sorry letter from the condom factory.
Mum: Fair point.