Movie jokes
Heard Stephen Hawking is in a new movie and that the theme tune is absolutely banging. Think the opening line goes something like, “They see me rolling, they hating.”
Jason: Did you hear about the storm-trooper who attempted suicide?
Dave: No.
Jason: Well, he hit his first target.
If I'm the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a guardian of the galaxy?
Why did the skeleton go to the movies by himself?
He had no body to go with.
One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi truck as a practical joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
What is Forrest Gump's email password?
1forrest1
What do you call the Spanish translation of the 9th Star Wars movie?
Rogue Juan.
I once heard my dad shout, "I'm going to be like Frozen and let it go!" Then I heard a gunshot.
Hey, I'm not forcing you to learn the Force.
What do you call vampire Matt Damon?
Bat Damon!
To the people who have seen "Meet The Fockers" at the movies and they hated it, Fock You, Motherfockers!
What is a Jedi's favorite Italian dessert?
Obi-Wan Cannoli.
What do you call dogs dressed as dinosaurs?
Jurassic Bark!
Why couldn’t the kitten watch the movie? It had a violent cat-e-gory.
What did Pennywise become after LEAVING the circus? Ex-IT.
When Simba was walking too slow, I told him to mufasa.
What did the atom say to the other atom?
"Did you see the new Tron movie?"
Chuck Norris once pissed in the tank of a semi as a joke.
It is now known as Optimus Prime.
Simba was walking too slow so I told him to Mufasa.
If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.