Movie jokes
Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.
Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.
What is Forrest Gump's password?
1forest1
Horror movies don't scare me. 5 missed calls from my mum scares me.
Where did the cows go to a date?
To the moo-vies!
Octopussy.
They told me Avengers: Endgame was going to be 3 hours long, but honestly? I felt like it was over in a SNAP!
What's the king of all school supplies? A ruler.
What's a flower's favorite drink at the movie theater? Root Beer.
What's a cow's favorite place to go during his free time? The Moooovies.
You watch 50 Shades of Grey, and you turn grey in bed.
Your mom is so old, she turned to dust before Thanos snapped.
You're going to suffer the wrath of Gru!
Babe, it's over.
After all I've done for you? Wow! I cheated on you with your sister anyway.
I meant the movie...
I am never letting Elsa take care of my dog again. Last time she just let it go.
"Dick, you're fired."
"I'd buy that for a dollar."
What did one orphan say to another?
"Robin, get in the Batmobile!"
Why did half of the world not see Avengers: Endgame?
Because half of them were Thanos snapped in Avengers: Infinity War.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Fourth of April.
Fourth of April who?
May the fourth be with you!
I went to the bathroom and into a stall to see a hole in the wall. It reminded me of "The Lickable Wallpaper" from "Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory." I jokingly started licking. Though, the carrot tasted musky and kinda wrinkly.
What do you call an autistic kid who just saw Transformers? Autistimus Prime.
#1: What are you doing?
#2: Watching a movie.
#1: Oh, I know why, because you move-ie.
When do you take a cow to the movies?
On a mooo-vie!