Movie jokes
If an illegal immigrant fights against a child molester, would that be "Alien vs Predator"?
How does E.T. have an advantage over orphans? E.T. can actually phone home.
If I'm the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a guardian of the galaxy?
what is it called when an illegal immigrant is getting raped?
alien vs predator
if a toy from Toy Story died, the kid wouldn't know, and the other toys would just have to watch as their kid played with the corpse.
I got kicked out of Social Studies class when my teacher made us watch a women's rights documentary. When he asked us what the genre of the film was, I put my hand up and said "Fiction."
What do you call a fight between an illegal immigrant and a pedophile? Alien vs Predator.
Why did Nicholas Cage and Angelina Jolie attend Paul Walker’s funeral?
He went from "The Fast and the Furious" to "Gone in 60 Seconds."
Your forehead is so big, Megamind thought you were his brother.
If you watch Jaws backwards, it's a heartwarming story about a shark that gives arms and legs to disabled people.
Instead of Edward Scissorhands, I’m Edwardscissor wrists.
What has three balls and flies through space?
E.T. the extra testicle.
What is Stephen Hawking's least favorite movie?
Standing Tall.
One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi truck as a practical joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
What's the similarities between Spiderman and a homeless person?
They both have no way home!
Jason: Did you hear about the storm-trooper who attempted suicide?
Dave: No.
Jason: Well, he hit his first target.
Do you know about the new movie Disney made just for cancer kids? It's called Finding Kemo.
What do the movies The 6th Sense and Titanic have in common?
Icy dead people.
What do Paul Walker and I have in common? Neither of us have seen Fast and the Furious 7.
Why was Wacko Jacko willing to write a song for the film Free Willy?
He thought that the film's title was a nice phrase to yell out in primary school playgrounds.