Movie jokes
Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the movies, she sits next to everyone.
"What do you do with your free time?"
"I stalk."
"Really? I enjoy walks in the park, going to the movies, and hanging out with friends."
"I know."
I just bought two new biro pens.
One is light blue with hints of purple and another is green with hints of white.
They're filled with monster's ink.
All these bows and arrows and I'd still give more of Jeremy Renner's work a shot.
What's white but not black, and red all over?
J. K. Rowling after attending the world premiere of the next Matrix movie.
What movie do orphans hate most?
"Home Alone."
Sorry man, but I got to say one thing. You know when a bully in a movie walks to you, then they walk up to you, and they smell you and say, "What are you doing?"
Are you lightning?
Because you're McQueen.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? The Parent Trap.
What do you call a movie with kids with cancer? ... Finding Chemo.
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
Why [doesn't] Hollywood make a good movie about holocausts?
Because it's so hard to skin Jewish characters.
My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.
It was really heavy on me.
Kid: I don't want to go to the movies.
Mom: Shut your mouth and clean my room!
Why did the cow cross the road?
To go to the Mooovies.
Why does Wednesday Addams never blink?
Did you hear about the new Pixar movie? It's about cancer patients. It's called "Finding Kemo."
What do you call an orphan? Homeless.
What's an orphan's worst favorite movie? Home Alone.
Why can't homeless people find a home? Because they're orphans.