I am the Lorax. I speak for trees. I have the high ground, and I will cut off your knees.
Go commit Thanos finger snap.
I can explain Superman and Batman movies in one sentence.
Two orphans fighting in the rain.
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
The way you talk is so slow that they put you in the movie Fast and Furious and changed the title to Slow and Serious!!!๐๐๐ญ
What does a Mexican Highlander say?
"There can be only Juan!"
After watching Star Wars 8, I have to say Snoke was half the man I expected him to be.
Q) What do you call Iron Man when he can't swim?
A) Robert Drowney Jr.
My wife and I watched The Perfect Murder together. Excellent movie, but what disturbed me though was my wife constantly taking notes.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You follow the Fresh prints.
What is an orphan's favorite quote in Star Wars?
"I am your father."
Paul Walker's death was a tragedy, but at least he went out in a blaze of glory.
I unfriended Paul Walker on Xbox because he was always on the dashboard.
What's an orphan's favorite part in the Wizard of Oz?
When Dorothy says, "There's no place like home."
James Woods, starring in the newest movie: "September 11, two thousand fun."
Life is like a film; it goes on, but you can cut at any time.
Rey: Join me, Ben, you don't have to be alone anymore, join me.
Ben: But Rey, I've always been solo.
what do you call a group of emos?... The Suicide Squad.
what did Bruce Willis say after he had a vasectomy? "snip-y ki yay motherfucker"
They made a horror movie about the Chinese president.
It's called "Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey."
What did the cow and bull do for their first date? - Dinner and a Moovie.
