I showed my girlfriend my shotgun yesterday. It really blew her away.

What is the world’s greatest invention? The ball gag, do you know why? Honestly officer I never heard her say no.

A mom and her two children were eating at a place well playing trivia when she ask what does aids stand for? Her son Dallyn has no idea but her daughter Emberlee who has always been a little odd says ‘’ An Intentional Disease’’ her brother mom just Stared!

Your spelling is more morbid than any of these jokes

I have WWII in my blood since my great grandfather killed hitler.

What does a woman do when she leaves the battered womens’ shelter?

Cook my dinner, if she knows what’s good for her.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing you haven’t told her twice already.

what do women and moldy bread have in common? a yeast infection.

Q: DO YOU KNOW THE QUADRATIC FORMULA? A: DUHHH! Comment: THEN SOLVE IT! Formula: -b+ - square root b^2 - 4 ac/2a

Q: Why is Morbid Jokes so cruel? A: Because they are!

Why does Hitler drink milk? Because he doesn’t like juice.

What’s the difference between a club and a bar?

I can only get dead hookers from the club alleyways.

I don’t get why people don’t like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that’s the other hole.

Better call NASA and tell them there is only going to be 7 planets after I destroy URANUS.

What’s the best way to cure the hiccups? Suicide.

I started beating my washing machine beacause it wasn’t working, my wife started crying.

I am sick and tired of horror movies it is always the stupid ones that die first. when you see a guy in a dark bloody coat and a knife, he ain’t there to just look at yah run; Don’t scream run.

Did you know the pool in the Titanic is still full

Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To get to the other side (suicide)

Why did the second hedgehog cross the road? To see his flatmate

What’s the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be saying ten babies in one trashcan. Morbid humor would be saying one baby in ten trashcans

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