Morbid jokes

I tell a man, "Get me a Glock 19." He comes back with a glove. I was about to shout at him, but then I saw a pistol in his pocket, so I left and thanked him.

One day my friend said: "I want tacos from Katie's, you?" and I said no thanks and she left. I never saw her again. Today I remember that I saw her name on TV as one of the victims of suicide, then I remember her and my motto: "If I'm dying, you're dying with me, you got no choice." I NEVER ate tacos from Katie's again.

Dwarf Shortage.

The morbid jokes on this site.

Why do emos cut themselves?

To play noughts and crosses.

What is the best type of snake?

A dead one.

You know what the yin and yang looked like before Martin Luther King Jr.?

There was none, it was all white!

Women’s rights.

What does Sonic say when he doesn't want to get caught fucking in public?

Gotta Go Fast!

Why is the dog having KFC? Because the dog has no friends.

Little Timmy said, "I had a body, eieio, now you are next!" as he shoots you.

Somebody’s son said, "Mom, my dick has white stuff coming out of it." She said, "Oh, good one, son, so when’s the baby coming?"

I work at a morgue and we wrap the bodies in bubble wrap.

I was working the night shift and just looking at the security cameras, but then I heard popping behind me!

The last thing that went through Abe Lincoln's head was a bullet.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Porsche?

I don't have a Porsche in the garage.

I will always remember my baby sister's last words: "What is the fire for?"

What's the difference between your mom and your dad? One leaves your life to go get milk, and the other cleans up after you, feeds you, and does your laundry.

I like my women like a day: 24 year olds. 24 hours of fun.

Dad: I get to touch animals every day at the zoo.

Kid: Why?

Dad: I clean up animal s*** at the zoo.

I saw a yellow bus and I knew that some-ting was wrong.

The bus was white.