Morbid Jokes

lol I switched out my friends leukemia medication for mercury (Like and comment if you get it)

a girl and a boy were on a date, the boy kept farting. the girl asked, What Is Wrong?!?!the boy replied, "explosive diareah." the girl said ew.

The boy went to the bathroom, and the place exploded. the center of the explosion, the bathroom.

What did my grandpa say after he kicked the bucket? Nothing, I unplugged his life support before he said a word.

My friend had this annoying little kid that always used to yell and scream when he didn't get what he wanted. I told me friend there's a new attraction a few states away he could take him too. Confused my friend asked me what it was. I told him "The Sandyhook Experience: Where you come in and leave with a 'hole' lot of fun."

"wanna hear a construction joke" "yeah sure" "wait im still working on it"

Why can't you trust the atom cose they make up everything

What do you call a green boner the Grintch

The kid with a gun walked into my class room and fucking shot the teacher. He pointed the gun at me and asked,

"What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey at least he gets free food.

What is it called if your mom does not make it to your birth... an abortion.

A Lew runs into a wall what does he break? His Nose

A Mexican runs into a wall what does he break? His lawn Mower

A father of five puts on gas mask and a hazard suit, and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked "Dad, what are you wearing?". The father would answer with "A costume for Halloween.". the child asked "can i join?". He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. *after that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.

If a person in a wheel car runs you over, can you call it a Hit and Can ́t Run

All my friends live in a forest. its called Aokigahara

I told my dad to get me a packet of cigarettes, he never came back. ANDI still didn't get my FUCKING CIGARETTES.

The other day i pushed a Chinese women off the golden gate bridge i was Wong on so many levels.

Johnny Johnny? Yes pa pa Eating Sugar? Yes pa pa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing i can reach and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you're mad at me for eating a little sugar. Smoking? Telling lies? Yes pa pa, you do all of those things because you're a chronic addict.