Morbid jokes
Your mother.
Why was Aaron's mum sad? The bus missed Aaron.
I like my vegetables like I like my women: forgotten at the bottom of my freezer.
I lost my virginity once and found it in a store being sold off.
Dfhbbfd.
What do you call black people in pool?
Coco Pops.
Why do elephants paint their toes red, blue, green, orange, brown, and yellow?
So they can hide in a bag of M&Ms.
This joke is short... like your dick!
I have a pussy. It's very hairy. It has a long thing sticking out of it. It's also very hair. My hairy pussy meows and purrs.
Hippity hoppity, women are property!
What’s the difference between me and Chester Bennington?
I know how to use an exercise band.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone chucked a brick at her.
Why did Sally throw a clock out the window? She had brain damage from the brick.
An ugly man with a gun walks into a bar. He sees a woman and falls in love with her.
Man: "Hey, cute lady!"
Woman: "Leave me alone, you ugly two-faced man! I already have a boyfriend."
Man: "Not for long!"
And then the man shoots the woman's boyfriend.
Woman: "How dare you murder such a beautiful man!"
Man: "Now you shall be my girlfriend."
Woman: "Never."
And then the man takes the seat that the woman's boyfriend was sitting in before.
Man: "You look like a dream."
Woman: "Then open up your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, murder."
Man: "What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the world, compared to all those ugly women? Bleuch!"
Woman: "What's it like being the ugliest mother f***ing murder in the world, compared to all those beautiful men?"
And then the man orders flowers and candy.
Bartender: "We don't serve flowers, or candy."
And the man shoots the bartender.
Another man can't believe what he just saw, so he strangles the first man and throws him out.
Guess how I'm getting laid tonight?
"I'm stronger than you."
Everyone becomes happy when they complete the last stage of the game.
But the cancer patients aren't.
What's the best part of working at an abortion clinic? Free dog food.
Roses are red, the sky is blue, what do you do? Oh, never mind, I'm not homo like you.
One day I saw my friend in a hospital bed. He told me to call 911. Instead, I called his parents.
What do you call a gay person in Antarctica?
Bi-Polar.
What's the difference between apples and dead babies?
I don't ejaculate on apples before I eat them.