Titanic: "And I'm nominating everyone on board for the Ice Bucket challenge!"
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
How did Rihanna know that Chris Brown was cheating on her? There was a different color of lipstick on his knuckles.
What does your mom and a slinky have in common?
They aren't much to look at, but you can't help but crack a smile when you see then tumbling down the stairs.
Men wake up with a boner. Women wake up yawning. Coincidence?
What's the difference between a shooter and a bullied autistic kid? It depends on who's shooting.
What leaves a bigger memory than a passionate kiss?
a stab wound
Whats starts with M and end with arriage?
Miscarriage Now we all know that joke never gets old, and you know what?
Neither does the child
I'm starting to wish my grass was emo. Why? So it would cut itself.
Q: What did the Ice berg say to the Titanic? A: I'd hit that.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common?
They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.
What does a pulse and an orgasm have in common?
I don't care if she has one.
So I went out to eat the other day, and the waitress came up to me and asked if I wanted a glass of water. I said "Yes ma'am." She said "Oh honey, you don't have to call me ma'am, I'm not that old." I said "Okay, thanks bitch."
I almost got caught watching porn.My mom got the bill for the account but luckily dad had my back.I mean we do use the same account
If you had 10 chicken nuggets and Jimmy tried to steal one, what would you have?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead Jimmy.
I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he's a really deep sleeper.
Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, "Who created the Earth?" And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, "MY GOD!" And the teacher says, "Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth." Sally sits down. Then, the teacher asks, "Where do you go after you live a good life?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, "HEAVENS TO BETSY!" And the teacher says, "Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life." Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around. And then, the teacher asks the class, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I'm gonna lose it!" And the teacher faints.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her and told her never to play with matches again. A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire and the house burned down. Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors, her mother told her: If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home! Little Natalie just cackled with delight, because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.
