Morbid jokes
What does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant?
"Can I have a bodybag?"
The secret to dark humor is the delivery... oh wait, the baby was stillborn.
How many children can you fit in a box?
Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.
A man has the power to grant anyone a wish they want.
A kid comes up and says, "I want to be like Batman!"
The man smiles and grants his wish. The child goes home and finds that he is now an orphan.
Hate me all you want, but I gotta say, this whole thing with Gwen and TJ is ridiculous.
If you bet on Russian roulette, even if you win, you still lose.
Why did Mia Khalifa become so famous?
Because she blew up.
A depressed man buys a gun for suicide, but then thinks, "maybe I shouldn't be doing this," and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.
My dad went to go buy milk, but he walks as slow as my grandmother.
My grandmother is paralyzed in the legs.
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
Today was a bittersweet day...
Bad news is my friend was assaulted. Good news is I successfully sneak attacked someone!
Why did the Columbine High School basketball team lose the big game?
Because they lost their two best shooters...
See, morbid humor is just like water, not everyone gets it.
I heard that my crush got kicked in the balls and when I thought of it...
I remember Grandpa's last words, "Oh, shit! It's in drive!"
You. You're a joke.
Bippity boppity, get the f*ck off my property.
What song do you think was playing at the school?
"Pumped Up Kicks"
Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?
A: So she can moan with the other.
How many babies do you need to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them.