Morbid jokes
What is Bill Cosby's favorite poem? Roses are red, my cum is blue, I'll wait till your asleep to rape you.
I’m not racist. I just have black guns.
My girlfriend's a porn star.
She'd kill me if she found out.
Why do midgets work at Tesco?
Because every little helps.
What's the worst thing to say at a funeral? "Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"
Today, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.
My parents are the worst.
Imagine if on April first the government says, "Hahhaha, you all fell for it. Covid-19 is fake; we actually killed all those people, lol."
I bought a white Xbox to last longer, and I bought a black Xbox to run faster.
Me and my stepmom went into the forest.
I think I hid the body pretty well, but now I have to hide the gun.
Everyone's had a mind-blowing day before, just ask JFK.
How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?
Apparently not enough to impress him.
What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?
"This isn't ketchup."
Parents: "I'm taking your toys to the orphanage." Kid: "Why?" Parents: "So you don't get bored there."
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
"Windows 10 shutting down."
Why did the old man fall into the well? He couldn't see that well.
Abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.
What is the difference between American teenage girls and Muslim teenage girls? -- American teenage girls get stoned *before* they have sex.
Never break someone's heart, they only have one. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.
What do you do when you see a kid alone? You beat them up and say, "It was self-defense!"
Today I went to the doctor for a test, and he said I have 10 months to live.
So later that day I stabbed him to death, and the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved!