Morbid jokes

Morbid jokes

Shooting

Teachers at a school shooting be like: damn it. That's the third one this week and it's only Monday.

DNA evidence

Why is the Catholic church in favor of condoms now?

It's now getting harder to hide DNA evidence.

Shooting Range

I don't understand why, when I went to the shooting range today, the police came. Like, bro, I always go to elementary schools.

Lamb

Why did Mary have a little lamb? Because a big one was too much in bed.

Baby

Trying to make a baby talk is like trying to negotiate with North Korea.

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  • Phone Call

    I got a phone call from a guy labeled "assassin" saying my life will end soon. I seriously doubt that he w- *gunshot*

    Kobe

    I'd tell you a Kobe joke.

    But I am afraid it wouldn't land well.

    Pedophile

    What does a pedophile and a light switch have in common?

    They both get turned on by children.

    Eye

    I've been trying to find jokes about gouging my eyes out, but I couldn't see any.

    Girl

    So there's a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says, "Step on a crack and you break your mother's back." The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother's back breaking.

    The little girl's father looks in terror, she then says, "Step on a line and you break your father's spine." The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out "OW MY SPINE!" The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.