Morbid jokes
What does a perverted frog say? Rub it.
Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom.
What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped.
What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender.
Me: dozes off while driving. Everybody else on the passenger plane on September 11.
Happiness.
What's brown and hurts your teeth?
A chocolate?
No. A baseball bat in my hands.
Like if you have balls.
I hit a ball with a bat, it was called animal abuse.
Dark humor is like food.
Not everyone gets it.
"You da bomb!" "No, you da bomb!"
In the US, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument.
what's the difference between morbid humor & dark humor?
dark humor fits 10 people in 1 container.
morbid humor fits 1 person on ten containers.
Why is the Catholic church in favor of condoms now?
It's now getting harder to hide DNA evidence.
I've been trying to find jokes about gouging my eyes out, but I couldn't see any.
School was fun, but it was hard, almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.
I don't understand why, when I went to the shooting range today, the police came. Like, bro, I always go to elementary schools.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.
Bad jokes are like the planes in 9/11, they don't land.
Trying to make a baby talk is like trying to negotiate with North Korea.
I got a phone call from a guy labeled "assassin" saying my life will end soon. I seriously doubt that he w- *gunshot*
What's sad and has no life? The person reading this.
Why did the old man fall into the well? He couldn't see that well.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.