Morbid jokes
Me: Stepping on a scale to weigh myself.
Everyone else in the minefield...
What does a perverted frog say? Rub it.
Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom.
What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped.
What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender.
what's the difference between morbid humor & dark humor?
dark humor fits 10 people in 1 container.
morbid humor fits 1 person on ten containers.
Me: dozes off while driving. Everybody else on the passenger plane on September 11.
Happiness.
What's brown and hurts your teeth?
A chocolate?
No. A baseball bat in my hands.
Like if you have balls.
I hit a ball with a bat, it was called animal abuse.
Dark humor is like food.
Not everyone gets it.
"You da bomb!" "No, you da bomb!"
In the US, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument.
I've been trying to find jokes about gouging my eyes out, but I couldn't see any.
Why is the Catholic church in favor of condoms now?
It's now getting harder to hide DNA evidence.
Bad jokes are like the planes in 9/11, they don't land.
School was fun, but it was hard, almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.
Trying to make a baby talk is like trying to negotiate with North Korea.
I got a phone call from a guy labeled "assassin" saying my life will end soon. I seriously doubt that he w- *gunshot*
Man, my Muslim friend's the bomb!
What's sad and has no life? The person reading this.
Why did the old man fall into the well? He couldn't see that well.