Morbid Jokes

What’s the difference between a child and a suicider?

One stays quiet forever...

What do you call a white person having a seizure?

A vanilla shake.

"GWEN, can you help me? There's some person messing with me. There name is JADSA, something like that. Look for a joke named Jayden."

If you need help, you will need trash, 'cause you the trash.

Kid: Dad, what is it like to be drunk?

Dad: You see those two trees over there? If you were drunk, you would see four.

Kid: Dad, there is only one tree.

To all the children on this website, hello!!!!! Hey!!!! How is life treating you?

(BTW I'm a kid, too. I'm Hayley, and I'm turning 13. My B-day is 10/08/2008.)

Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son. Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day. 😐

Why does the adopted kid like playing GTA? Because he wants to be wanted.

da baby

What do volcanoes and suicide bombers have in common?

They both erupt when triggered.

Two people are sitting in a skyscraper.

P1: Hey, what wifi are you connected to? The company wifi is horrible.

P2: Airplane wifi.

A man asked for poison and another man gave it to him. The first man took a sip and said, "hmmm, this tastes like arsenic." He took a sip of another and said, "hmmm, this tastes like cyanide. A very unpleasant taste that brings back memories."

People always said that if you killed a murderer, there would be the same number of murderers. Why stop at one?

This is how my mom always threatens me: "I brought you into this world, I can bring you out of it too." That's why I only have 2 siblings left.

I wonder where the bodies are?

Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually." Little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor.