Morbid jokes
Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually." Little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor.
Why did LazarBeam kiss a man?
Because he couldn't kiss Fresh; he was already gay.
Hi, I'm new here and I'm 11. I'm just bored and want a girlfriend.
Does anyone have Snapchat or Twitter? I can show you what I look like ;)
What do you call six gay men at war? Rainbow Six Siege.
Did you know Cobain had dandruff? Yep. They found his head and shoulders all over the back of his couch.
Humans and sharks have something in common: the great ones are always white.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and acne? Acne doesn't come on a 5-year-old's face.
Did you know there was a record for the quickest time to finish a story? The day it was set was 9/11. 99 stories in .4 seconds.
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoes?
White vans.
I'm a lady, so I'm a man.
Hey Gwen.
What was Hitler's lucky number?
Nein.
I just wanted to write something random.
And now my wife is dead.
What is a cannibal's favorite drink?
Coffee.
What do an angler fish and a pedophile have in common?
They both like to hide in dark places, look creepy, and like to lure small creatures.
My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology. I call him a hypocrite and unplug his life support. 😄😆🔥👍
The cemetery is so overcrowded.
People are just dying to get in.
Roses are red, violets are violet.
My grandad died in 9/11. He was a good pilot.
What if little Johnny was doing drugs?
"Johnny, Johnny?"
"Yes, Papa?"
"Eating sugar?"
"No, Papa..."
People in plays say that everyone's life is a drama, but mine's a tragedy.