Morbid jokes
Titanic: "And I'm nominating everyone on board for the Ice Bucket challenge!"
So, Satan is in the delivery room having a child.
Soon, a feathered creature comes out. "Doctor," says Satan, "What is it?"
The doctor sighs. "Well, it's not a boy, and it's not a girl."
Satan looks frustrated. "THEN WHAT IS IT?!?!?"
The doctor looks up. "It's a goose."
Dinosaurs are like my dad. I never got to see either of them, and they are now extinct.
My memes are ironic, but my depression is chronic.
Cats are like onions; when I cut them, I cry.
How do you circumsize a hillbilly?
Kick his mother in the jaw
Why did God create women with pussies?
Because:
1. Of course, God is a man.
2. Of course, he isn't gay.
3. Of course, he is a perv too (for wanting more pussies)!
What's the hardest thing about being a rapist?
My dick.
What's more fun than nailing a baby to the floor?
Ripping it off with a kick!
How ISS greets their friend.
"You the BOMB!"
Why did Paul Walker cross the street?
Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
A redneck and a Black man walk into a bar and order a drink.
Knock knock! Who's there? It's Dave! Dave who? Dave proceeds to break down crying at the realization that his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.
Happiness.
How did Rihanna know that Chris Brown was cheating on her? There was a different color of lipstick on his knuckles.
If it's on the clock, it's old enough for the cock.
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.
Fuck you, biiiiiitch!
What is a similarity between a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her?
They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"
Why are priests called father? Because it's too suspicious to call them daddy.