Morbid jokes

Morbid jokes

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Did Jesus die a virgin?

Of course not, he got nailed before he died!

  • 8

    • What did the make-a-wish kid say to the staff? "I don't wanna go to Disneyland, I wanna live longer."

    Things you never want to do in jail:

    - Never piss off an inmate. - Don’t start fights with the cops. - Don’t drop the soap. - Don’t run away from the cops.

  • 3

    • My mother wanted to test my responsibility and wanted me to cook dinner for the family to help me understand how it feels to constantly cook for a whole family. So, me with my horrible humor, decided to make a giant joke for when dinner time came around, and so I just got four plates and set them in front of my family and I then said, "Here you are, a fine African meal." Then everybody looked at me in disappointment, and then I continued to say, "What? Poor taste?"

  • 8

    • In life, it’s either yeet or get beat, and I clearly failed yeeting as a child, as my dad beat me.

  • 1

    • Son: Dad? Why is mommy no longer with us?

    Dad: Why did the chicken cross the road?

    Son: Why?

    Dad: To get to the other side, but your mother only made it about halfway.

    Sally has no arms. What did she get for Christmas? I don't know, she hasn't opened it yet.

    How did Helen Keller's mom punish her? She put her in a circular room and told her to find the corner.

    So an orphan was crying in a corner in the dark. Then a man came over and asked, "Why are you crying?"

    Then said, "Do you want me to get your parents?"

  • 0

    • What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.

  • 1

    • How do you drown a blonde? You tape a mirror to the bottom of a 13-foot deep pool.

  • 1