Morbid jokes
I go in to get a prostate exam. I'm nervous, but the doctor says it's all natural and needs to be done.
So he pulls down my pants and sticks one finger up my ass. I feel it go deeper inside, feeling for abnormalities.
That's when I realize his hands are on my shoulders.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he isn't coming to you.
What's the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
What is similar about a dog and a woman? You can ask them to come.
Two hunters were walking through the forest one day. All of the sudden, one of them passes out. The other hunter panics and dials 911. The emergency responder says, “911, what's your emergency?” The hunter replies, “My friend just passed out and I don’t know what to do! I think he might be dead!” The emergency responder replies, “Before you do anything, make sure he is dead.” The phone goes silent, and then the responder hears a gunshot. The hunter gets back on the phone and says, “Ok, now what?”
Where did Amy go after the explosion?
Everywhere.
The morbid jokes on this site.
What's worse than 3 babies in one trashcan?
One baby in three trashcans.
Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?
You would too if your name was "Raraaaughhaugh."
Dark humour : hell!!! Aren't people racist!!!
Why did the family move away?
Because they lost their son.
Condoms? HA! Those are for pussies!
What do a fat chick and a moped have in common?
They’re both fun to ride until your friends find out.
What’s the difference between Jimmy and a normal kid? Jimmy is fat.
I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie...
no one could tell that it was their blood.
Two of my grandpas died in WW2.
Their tower fell over.
Women’s rights.
What has more brains than Kurt Cobain?
The wall behind him.
What's Al-Qaeda's favorite sports team?
The New York Jets.
Do you know who didn't graduate high school this year?
The Parkland kids.