Morbid jokes
I knew this one guy who liked to swim with the fishes, then the mob got a hold of 'em...
What do you take care of after a car crash?
The witnesses.
My chance of finding love.
Kids in the backseat make accidents, and accidents in the back seat make kids.
Why can't America play chess?
They're missing two towers.
I will never forget my girlfriend's last words... "Get off of me! STOP!" *slurp*... Dead.
Bippity boppity, get the f*ck off my property.
I don't understand why in horror movies they make digging a grave look so easy. It usually takes me days.
Hell in Greek times was known as cold and misty... so now just look at Seattle.
The more people who like to eat Tide Pods, the less idiots we have in the world. 😁
What’s the only victimless crime you can commit? Murder, cause there’s a victim less!
I have a fish that can breakdance!
Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
How do you know cat's don't always land on their feet?
Mufasa.
"Rehab's for quitters, and I don't give up."
Guess what? Chicken butt.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Anal.
A student was peeking in on a 10/10 chick, and the guy was about to nut.
The school shooter patted his back and told him to leave his corpses alone.
What’s one good thing about child molesters? They drive slow in a school zone.
School and Boot Camp are a lot alike. The only difference is that in school, you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.
Why does Hitler deserve heaven? Because he killed Hitler.
I will always remember my dad's last words...
Oh wait, I never knew them.