Morbid jokes
Goats are like mushrooms.
If you shoot a cat, I'm scared of toasters.
What's the same about "Make a Wish Program" and "Dark Jokes"?
They never get old.
I like my women how I like my cigars: 7 years old and coming from Cuban in a burlap sack.
Why can’t pedophiles ever win races? Because they are always coming in a little behind.
What is dumb, yo mama, you dumb stupid idiot?
I'll never forget my boss's last words: "We shall serve the best meat in our burgers!"
Yo mamma's so fat, she had to pull down her pants to get to her wallet!
What can you tell a dog, but not your girlfriend? Come.
What does PEMDAS stand for?
Please End My Depression And Suffering.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an ugly girl? The Twin Towers at least got fucked.
I like my women like I like my coffee.
Dark, rich, and imported.
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not! He got nailed before he died.
I'll never forget my mother's last words: "What are you doing with that sledgehammer?"
What do women and airplanes have in common?
A cockpit.
What is the difference between Sir Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?
Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.
what do you call a drunken sailer?
arrested.
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
Wanna hear a funny joke?
My life.
A boy breaks a vase, and his mom says it's ok, honey, mistakes happen. How do you think you were born?
What was the last thing that crossed Princess Diana's mind?
The steering wheel.