Mood jokes

To whoever stole my antidepressants, I hope you are happy now.

Q: Why do depressed people always have colored hair?

A: That’s as close as they can get to dye.

Roses are red. The sun isn't shining. My mental state is rapidly declining.

Guys, I promise I’m not suicidal, I just like dark things.

*proceeds to walk around the house with headphones in and stare at the ceiling while laying down on the couch*

A person could build a playground with your mood swings.

Why is it bad to high five an emo?

They will leave themselves hanging.

At every funeral, it's a try-not-to-say-"big mood"-challenge for me.

What's a depressed person's least favorite type of cereal?

LIFE.

What do you call a sad cup of coffee?

Answer: Depresso.

Why you always in a mood?

C'mon guys, I know I'm not the only bored one around here!

I only have 4 moods:

• fuck this • fuck that • fuck me • fuck you

I empathize with the above, but I have an additional 4 moods to add:

• fuck yeah • fuck no • fuck my life • fuck everything

and don't forget the inevitable

• fuck it

and for those who have just given up

• fuck

This is beautiful.

I was driving when I saw a kid chasing after a ball, but I didn’t have enough time to slow down. Then I pulled over, and the dad yelled, "What the fuck did you do?" I looked into the street and saw the ball completely deflated and the kid crying, "Now I gotta hear him bitch and moan all day," he continues.

What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person?

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

Couldn't believe how much of a bad mood my work mate was in this morning. So I decided to ask him what was the matter and if everything was OK with his wife, Flo.

He then broke down crying and said when he got home the night before, he caught his wife in bed with the plumber. I tried to console him as best as I could, but he just couldn't get over flow.

Imagine being depressed. Couldn’t be me.

There were once these two twins. One twin, no matter what happened, was always pissed off, while the other one was always happy.

This baffled scientists, so they ran an experiment on the twins to figure out what was happening. They took the angry one and left him in a room with all of the latest technology and the most expensive toys and left him overnight. When they came back, he was still grumpy. When they asked him why, he said, "None of these are actually mine, and you left me in here all night, so I'm angry!"

His explanation was reasonable, so they ran another experiment on the other kid. This time, they left him overnight in a room that was literally just filled with horse shit. When they came back to check on him the next morning, he was still smiling. When they asked him why, he said, "With all of this horse crap, there has to be a pony in here somewhere!"

Why wasn’t the cheese 🧀 happy?

It was blue 😔.

What's a depressed person's favorite drink?

Depresso espresso.

How do you tell if someone is depressed?

The brains on the wall.