Monster jokes
What spooky creature has children?
Mummies.
What is a monster's favorite place to swim?
Lake Erie!
My little sister called my name a few minutes after I put her to bed. She told me that there was something in her closet. I checked the closet and told her there was nothing there, but told her she could still sleep in my room with me. I was thinking that was the best way to get her out of the room before he noticed I saw him.
Alright, I'm gonna drink the lo-carb one to see how it compares to the normal Monster.
Holy shit, it tastes just like the original one.
There's like a weird after taste though.
Kinda like a sparkling water one.
I love Monster. I've drank about 5 cans already.
A man came up to a girl about to jump off a cliff. The man said, "Why?" She then replies, "There are many monsters in this world, and I am one of them."
Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!
Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.
Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?
Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.
Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.
Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.
Brother 2: You monster.
Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?
Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.
Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.
Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!
Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.
Brother 1: Found them.
*imaginary mother and brother fade away*
Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.
Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.
Skinny deformed creature in the distance.
Why doesn't Voldemort have a human nose?
Because his snake bit it off!
Do you know how a dragon is? You don't know who? It's dragging these 2-liter balls across your pathetic face and slamming it into a f*cking dumpster you regret.
Medusa makes men hard.
Yo mama so ugly she the reason why Slender Man has no eyes.
Yo mama is so fat, she got mixed up with Godzilla!
Why did the monster 🧟♀️ put the cook in a bowl?
He wanted a chef salad. 🥗😂
Yo mama is so ugly, she is the reason Slenderman has no eyes.
Maishah the poo turned into a fart, which is the big fart monster's best friend. This is her: 🐷🐷🐷🐷🤢🤢🤢💩💩💩💩👊🏻👊🏻👊🏻👊🏻👊🏻🐽🐽🐽
What do you call a school bus driver that keeps going to sleep? A monster.
Why do people think that monsters are scary? Cuz they are so stupid.
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius, but his brother Frank was a monster.
Two skeletons meet at the graveyard at noon.
"What the heck are you doing here?"
"I couldn't sleep."
I aced my poker test...
My teacher asked me to reflect on my work, so I got a mirror...
A caffeinated vampire goes to sleep in a coffin...
Do you get my puns? No, because you can't seem to get a grasp on how bad they are...