Monster jokes
Your hairline is so far back you look like Frankenstein.
What's the difference between an ugly monster and you?
Nothing.
What do me and Monster cans have in common? A barcode.
Monster: “I will devour your family.”
Orphan: “Oh.”
What is Godzilla’s least favorite ball?
A King Kong ball.
Dad: No, Timmy, you don't have to worry, there is no monster sleeping under your bed, it sleeps every night in the bed next to me.
What do you get when King Kong steps on Batman and Robin?
Flatman and Ribbon.
One would think Dracula would have a lot of friends. Unfortunately, no one likes him. He is a pain in the neck.
Why did nobody believe the little girl who got raped?
She said a monster attacked her.
Why is no one friends with Dracula? Because he's a pain in the neck.
I killed 5 zombies and stabbed a vampire with a steak, and then I started to wonder why they were carrying bags of candy.
Why is an orphan so scared of the dark?
They don't have a dad to check the closet.
What sank the Titanic?
GODZILLA!
What do you call a titan that can't swim?
TITANic
Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately?
Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it.
Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow.
I remember last year all these bitches called me lame so I stopped the simping and pretended I was gay, now I think they're all fucking with me.
I'm an LGBTQ imposter got cut last year know I've made the roster and you may think I'm a monster. I'm just just tryna see some titties.
I am like Cookie Monster on steroids when it comes to cookies.
What has 8 heads and no legs? A monster.
What spooky creature has children?
Mummies.
What is a monster's favorite place to swim?
Lake Erie!