Mom's jokes

My mom holds up a hot dog and shouts, "WHO WANTS A WIENIE!?"

Why did the strawberry cry?

Her mom was in a jam.

Your mom's my dad. Think about that!

Me: I fucked your mom.

Orphan: I don't have a mom so you fucked the air.

Cheer for fun on the telephone and singing, "We are family!" Even then, your dad, really, he's fat, just like your dad. And your mom's fat ass, b**** ass, looking like an Oompa Loompa self, looking like an ugly.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I saw your mom beat you.

Little boy: Momma?

Mom: Yes, my dear.

Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's.

Mom: Why!?

Little boy: Just to see if their ice cream machine is actually broken.

Daughter: So, I got my period.

Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying!

Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying?

Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to another day.

Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically.)

Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless, obviously.)

My mom smashed my Xbox, so I smashed her daughter. 😏

Your so broke your mom can't afford your daddy.

I cried when my mom started to cut up onions... onions was a good dog.

Your mom's hot.

You're so ugly when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.

The bully says, "Your mom!" The girl says, "Is sleeping with your dad."

This category is messed up.

My Mom died in 9/11, at least she was doing what she loved, flying planes.

Your mom saw Uranus and never was the same in HD. :)

Irritable Bowel Syndrome saved me from depression...

It’s hard to feel empty when you’re so full of shiii fuck ur mom.

Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?

Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.

Hi everyone, my mom got me an iPad today, and this is really cool. Can someone tell me what decapitation is?

But her ass was lookin' good all up in those mom jeans!