Mom's jokes
Why is pounding your mom like playing video games?
Because once you start, you just can’t stop until you win!
It's sad when you sit around waiting for mom to make dinner, and then you realize you are the mom.
Nothing is lost until Mom can't find it.
"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."
"What did the mom broom say to the baby broom? Go to sweep!"
Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his mom was in a jam!
A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."
I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"
Why did the cookie cry?
Because its mom was a wafer too long!
My mom has a toy that I see all the girls and guys seem to play with, and the toy is between my mom's legs.
My mom calls me.
Me: WHAT MOM?
No answer.
Me: WHAT?
My mom told me that Africans don't have food, so I shipped my fat-ass brother.
Mom: Please eat, baby!
Baby: No!
Mom: Here comes the airplane!
I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.
What did the orphan say to its parents?
"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"
They people: "No."
Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."
Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I saw your mom beat you.
Son: What's for dinner tonight?
Mom: Steak!
Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?
Mom: HUNGER!
Why did the strawberry cry?
Her mom was in a jam.
Hi Mom, how are you doing?