Mom's jokes

"Doin' doin' your mom, doin' doin' your mom."

Son: I heard mom got stung by a few bees this morning. Is she ok? Hospital?

Dad: She's ok now, no hospital.

Dad: She had to take the deep penis.

Son: Umm...... WHAT!?

Dad: I had to inject her with an EPIC PENIS.

Dad: Oh for god's sakes.

Dad: Epi Pen.

So a mom went to her kid and said, "If you pray to God, He will give you your sight back." So he did exactly that.

The next morning, the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kid's room and asked, "What's wrong?" The kid replied, "It didn't work!" The mom said, "April Fools!"

Your mom is so small that she can fit in the luggage.

Why were the Twin Towers scared for dinner? Because their mom said, "Here comes the airplane!"

Your mom is so hot, if she had an OnlyFans page, she would get more money than companies during Pride Month.

We have Build-A-Bear; meanwhile, orphans have Build-A-Mom, or if they’d rather, Build-A-Dad.

I saw a small kid crying, so I asked him, "Where's your mom?" but he started crying, so I left the funeral. 🙂🙂

My mom told me to look for a bill in her file at her home office. Instead, I grabbed my sister's adoption papers.

There was once a small earthquake, but when I got outside, I realized my brother was still stuck inside. When I told my mom, she just said, "It doesn't matter, you're my favorite anyway!"

My mom told me to get dressed, and I said, "For what? Are we going to the rodeo?"

There is someone in my class named Henry Rocket Rueben, and he always says he rockets into my mom.

Mom: You can't die in the living room, David, so you can stop stabbing and shooting yourself.

David: I will surpass Kakarot!

Jordan: *dead on the living room floor*

What were the orphan's mom and dad's names? John and Jane Doe.

Mom: There is so much of the dog's dirty ball marks.

Me: *umm ohh no* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA dirty balls!

At 6, she wanted a happy mama.

At 8, she hated acting like a mom.

At 10, she wanted to see her own smile again.

At 11, she wanted to see her mom.

You want to hear a joke?

Your mom.

I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."

Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around, it's her birthday.

Evan, mom hot?