Mom's jokes
What did the mom say to the twins?
"Go crash a plane!"
What stresses a baby strawberry out?
When its mom is in a jam.
Being a mom to a teenager will make you understand why some animals eat their young.
Note to all moms of teens, keep a dog. That way, someone is excited to see you!
Your mom does not need the internet. She's already worldwide.
Your mom is so fat Buzz Lightyear had to say "To infinity to beyond" to leave her house.
Your mom is so fat that when she went on top of one of the Twin Towers, it collapsed.
The earth was once flat... until they buried your mom.
What is the difference between me and the Twin Towers?
My mom was only airplane feeding me a spoon.
Your mom said my cum tastes like Captain Crunch, bitch.
Jake: Can I go outside?
Mom: Did you clean your room?
Jake: No.
Mom: Then f*ck no.
Jake: Alright, bet.
(Brother named No)
What does your mom say when she is working?
Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.
My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.
The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"
Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"
About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."
Your mom is so fat Thanos had to snap twice.
Your mum (mom) so fat, she wore a yellow T-shirt, they said "Taxi!"
What's your mom and a dog got in common?
Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.
Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around, it's her birthday.
"Doin' doin' your mom, doin' doin' your mom."
Son: I heard mom got stung by a few bees this morning. Is she ok? Hospital?
Dad: She's ok now, no hospital.
Dad: She had to take the deep penis.
Son: Umm...... WHAT!?
Dad: I had to inject her with an EPIC PENIS.
Dad: Oh for god's sakes.
Dad: Epi Pen.