Mom jokes

You want to hear a joke?

Your mom.

I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."

What were the orphan's mom and dad's names? John and Jane Doe.

My sis came up to me and said, "Mom told me to take the trash out for the rest of the year."

"So, uh, you free tomorrow?" 😂

At 6, she wanted a happy mama.

At 8, she hated acting like a mom.

At 10, she wanted to see her own smile again.

At 11, she wanted to see her mom.

Mom: You can't die in the living room, David, so you can stop stabbing and shooting yourself.

David: I will surpass Kakarot!

Jordan: *dead on the living room floor*

Mom: There is so much of the dog's dirty ball marks.

Me: *umm ohh no* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA dirty balls!

What did the mom say to her house? "I love you"

Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around, it's her birthday.

But your mom's the best, the super M.I.L.F.

Evan, mom hot?

Why do I f*** my mom?

Like father like son. #batabababa

And I blame it on the al-al-al-cohol, but if I were you, I wouldn’t kiss your mom on the mouth at all.

What's the difference between an orphan and Daniel Larusso?

At least Daniel has a mom.

My mom told me to recycle the trash. I guess I’m taking you for another bike ride!

Your mom is so fat Buzz Lightyear had to say "To infinity to beyond" to leave her house.

Your mom is so fat that when she went on top of one of the Twin Towers, it collapsed.

Why did the man get run over?

Ur mom XD

Your mom said my cum tastes like Captain Crunch, bitch.

Your mom does not need the internet. She's already worldwide.