My mom told me to get dressed, and I said, "For what? Are we going to the rodeo?"
Mom Jokes
There is someone in my class named Henry Rocket Rueben, and he always says he rockets into my mom.
My sis came up to me and said, "Mom told me to take the trash out for the rest of the year."
"So, uh, you free tomorrow?" 😂
What were the orphan's mom and dad's names? John and Jane Doe.
Mom: There is so much of the dog's dirty ball marks.
Me: *umm ohh no* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA dirty balls!
I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."
At 6, she wanted a happy mama.
At 8, she hated acting like a mom.
At 10, she wanted to see her own smile again.
At 11, she wanted to see her mom.
You want to hear a joke?
Your mom.
Mom: You can't die in the living room, David, so you can stop stabbing and shooting yourself.
David: I will surpass Kakarot!
Jordan: *dead on the living room floor*
I was ridin' your mom like she was Mario Kart!
But your mom's the best, the super M.I.L.F.
And I blame it on the al-al-al-cohol, but if I were you, I wouldn’t kiss your mom on the mouth at all.
I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mom.
My father told me to always carry a women's bag, but I don't know why he called the cops on me when I helped Mom's bag when we went parachuting. :(
About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."
Your mom is so fat that when she went on top of one of the Twin Towers, it collapsed.
Your mom does not need the internet. She's already worldwide.
Your mom is so fat Buzz Lightyear had to say "To infinity to beyond" to leave her house.
Note to all moms of teens, keep a dog. That way, someone is excited to see you!
Your mom is so fat Thanos had to snap twice.
