Mom jokes

Being a mom to a teenager will make you understand why some animals eat their young.

What's your mom and a dog got in common?

Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.

About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."

What does your mom say when she is working?

Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.

What did the mom say to the twins?

"Go crash a plane!"

Your mom is so fat, when she went to the ugly contest, they said, "No professionals."

What is the difference between me and the Twin Towers?

My mom was only airplane feeding me a spoon.

Your mom does not need the internet. She's already worldwide.

Your mom is so fat Thanos had to snap twice.

Your mom is so fat that when she went on top of one of the Twin Towers, it collapsed.

The earth was once flat... until they buried your mom.

Tell an orphan "your mom", but then remember he doesn't have one.

Your mom is so fat Buzz Lightyear had to say "To infinity to beyond" to leave her house.

Your mum (mom) so fat, she wore a yellow T-shirt, they said "Taxi!"

Note to all moms of teens, keep a dog. That way, someone is excited to see you!

I asked my mom with cerebral palsy a question.

Still waiting on an answer.

Your Mom's Favorite Book, Chapter 1: How To Cook.

My mom went to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.

Why did the man get run over?

Ur mom XD

Jake: Can I go outside?

Mom: Did you clean your room?

Jake: No.

Mom: Then f*ck no.

Jake: Alright, bet.

(Brother named No)